Members Only .. Part Six "Dead Awake" The Conclusion

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Poem Commentary

Members Only ... The long awaited conclusion! I hope you enjoyed this series ,, it is my first attempt at a Story/Poem ... I hope you all found it enjoyable. Thanks so much for your loyalty and patience my friends .. I appreciate you more than you know..... :)

Members Only .. Part Six "Dead Awake" The Conclusion

Lance screamed as his fingers ripped ~
The doorknob had become magnetized by the strong force,
It was as if his hand had become fused to the doorknob.
The vacuum was so intense ~
It was ripping off his skin and blood sprayed from his pores,
It looked like acid ate his flesh – leaving a bloody blob.
~ ~ ~
Lance was now becoming weak ~
He had no will left to fight and his sight had became dim,
He no longer felt any pain and his head began to spin.
Stone then walked over to Lance ~ 
He said “It’s now time Mr. Knight, for you to say goodbye”,
Stone then sliced off Lance’s hand with his eight inch bowie knife.
~ ~ ~
Lance went flying through the air ~
He was being sucked into MOM’s strong magnetic grip,
All was becoming black – unconsciousness setting in.
Lance heard voices calling him ~ 
The rest of the signed Members were awaiting his arrival,
There was nothing he could do to ensure his own survival.
~ ~ ~
All of the fellow Members ~
With linked hands formed a circle – where Lance landed in the center,
Two of the men stepped to the side allowing Stone to enter.
Stone once again addressed Lance ~ 
“lance! Lance!! LANCE!!!  For Crying Out Loud!!! LANCE – Will You Just WAKE UP!!! “
 ~ ~ ~ 

Lance started to come to ~ 
He looked up with a dazed and confused expression on his face.
He then looked around the smoke filled room - He somehow knew this place.
The bartender said, “Damn Man!!
That was one hell of a celebration you had for yourself,
You drank yourself into oblivion, Damn, you look like hell!”
~ ~ ~
Lance held his head in both hands ~
Trying to compose himself … Wondering … What does it all mean?
When the bartender said, “Looks like you had one hell of a dream?”
Lance said “Yes”, and shook his head ~
The bartender smiled and said “You were screaming in your sleep.,
I tried to wake you, but you wouldn’t rise., you were so glued to your seat.
~ ~ ~
The bartender continued ~
“You partied like a rock star when you won the VIP pass,
To the new strip club downtown, You would’ve thought you won the lottery?!
~ ~ ~ 
~ Man ..  You should have seen your face!!! ~
~ ~ ~
Lance, just couldn’t help but laugh ~
Despite how he currently felt, in his inebriated state,
That’s when he said, it was time to be getting back to his place.
~ ~ ~
Lance then reached for his car keys ~
The bartender said “You’re not driving pal – I called for a cab,
Just be patient, it’ll be here soon, just sit back and relax.”
The cab arrived and blew it’s horn ~
And as Lance was getting ready to make his way outside,
The Bartender said, “Lance ~ wait up! Don’t forget to take your prize!”
~ ~ ~ 
The bartender then helped Lance ~
He put on his coat and then escorted him to the door.
Lance thanked him and said “Man, you’re the best damn bartender, for sure.”
He turned and smiled at Lance ~
Shook his hand and said “Congratulations! Have a safe ride home.”
Lance said, Thanks a lot my friend, I’ll see you next Friday night, Stone!”
~ ~ ~ 


KjK012811

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thecross commented on Members Only .. Part Six "Dead Awake" The Conclusion

02-02-2011

the fucker lived? He didn't get his neck sliced open and his head removed from his neck while washing the blood off with enough urine to pop out his eyes? I'm done busting man enjoyable story with a pleasant ending for those who can't handle gore you played it nicely, take Rhymer's advice and give that site a peek

knight4696

02/13/2011

LMAO!! :) Thanks Cross! I love the comment Man! lol! Yes, the f@#ker lived ... He was just drunk, Very Very Drunk! lol! Thanks again bud for the read and amusing comment! lol! :) Ken

ginga commented on Members Only .. Part Six "Dead Awake" The Conclusion

01-30-2011

knight, you know I was pleased that the gore stopped and Lance made it. Happy endings are always my preference yet life is not always that way. You spent so much time and poetic efforts entertaining us here. ty' ginga

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thanks Ginga! :) I thought it would be best to make this one a dream .. it is so screwed up it couldn't be anything else. lol! :) I thank you for taking the time to read this series and I'm so happy you enjoyed! :) Ken

Rhymer commented on Members Only .. Part Six "Dead Awake" The Conclusion

01-30-2011

A suggestion my friend, go to (submissions@poetrymagazine.org) a published magazine that accepts internet submissions. They are looking for fictional short stories, poetry etc. They pay well if accepted. 10

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thanks for the read, comments and suggestion my friend! I will look into it. :) Ken

Teardrops commented on Members Only .. Part Six "Dead Awake" The Conclusion

01-28-2011

Ken if you dont see a publisher then i will saddle up and come looking for you. Your talent is amazing and needs to be read its a breath of fresh air . Great write and a ending i didnt see comming . wonderful Marie

knight4696

02/13/2011

lol! Thanks Marie ... again as usual .. you humble me. Once life slows down a bit .. I promise .. I will look into publishers. But, then again .. If you do show up .. I love horse back riding! lol! Thanks again :) Ken

MindNumbing commented on Members Only .. Part Six "Dead Awake" The Conclusion

01-28-2011

That was the perfect ending to an amazing story, Ken. Your hard work on this is evident, and it's paid off. Thanks so much for taking us on this wild ride!! Now you need to smash these all together and post them as one :)

knight4696

02/13/2011

Thanks again Michelle for your continued praise and support. I am so happy you enjoyed this story. I also took your suggestion and posted the complete series as a whole. Thanks again my friend! :) Ken

Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

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