I'm hurt, I'm confuse
My heart has been bruised
I've forgiven
And I'm still living
Without him
He's the only boy I've ever wanted like this
When we split, there was a wide distance
Now, at this point in time
I want a new friendship
He expressed to me through crying
Why he's second guessing it
To use the death of a friend as a comeback
Is just disrespectful
When in all actuality and out of love
I'm trying to be helpful
When I started to back off
The brother thought I should stay close
Even during conversation with him, what to speak on I don't know
Some say, I'm who he needs to comfort him the most
But it doesn't feel that way at all
Most times, there's no answer when I call
No convo when I text
Instead of needin me more, he needs me less
Than he ever has in his lifetime
Most nights I lay crying
To think that our friendship could never be amended
That it may have finally ended
And I just pretend
Like I'm okay without him
But I wouldn't be
I constantly think, pray and worry about him
Will he or we, ever be the same again
All these questions I'm wondering
Because
I'm constantly missing
My first important friend