Monsters Are Real

10 Comments

Monsters Are Real

Full of pain from my past I can’t let go

My futures unwritten, so how is it I already know?

 

Hurting all the time but no one knows

How lost I feel how bad I wish I could go

Leave this place for somewhere that’s way beyond here

The place I created where the monster aren’t real

No more pain my fate my own

Monsters be damned I reclaim my soul.

 

On the outside I wear a smile for all to see

But if any one took the time

Took the time to really look,

Then they would see the real me

Beaten, bruised, and broken beyond repair

Who wants to fix this little girls world

Who really gives a damn?

 

You say I’m a survivor but I feel like I’m dead inside

My life I’m livin is not my own

But the remnants of a frighten child,

A frightened little girl who chose not to live life,

 But rather lock it all away

And put on the perfect disguise.

 

So now I look in the mirror at the reflection staring back at me,

Unsure or unclear of this person standing there,

The person who I now see.

 

Do I want to be a statistic, a victim;

A creation of someone else’s deeds?

Will I find the strength to overcome my pain?

Or continue to give the monsters the upper hand?

 

I’m drowning, cant breathe, I’m loosing the battle

To maintain the perfect smile.

 

My biggest fear is one day ill loose the fight

And then everyone will know.

They will see right through my years of pretending,

 the horror I’ve locked deep inside me,

no longer hidden , then who’s going to love me?

 

I was used and abused,

Thrown away like yesterdays trash.

Nothing left to give,

Sentenced to eternal nightmares,

 Monsters who smile, even said I LOVE YOU,

This is the only way i knew to live.

 

For me the absurd has become the norm,

And the extreme a daily routine

I never learned to expect any different

For me this was all there is.

 

Why should I

Why would I

How could I

Expect anything to change?

All I have ever known is lies, deceit, deception, and pain.

 

So what makes me think I deserve any better?

What would make me think it could change?

For me the outcome has always been the same!

 

But then he came along, my dark prince; and I felt like he would be the one

 The one to take away all the hurt, so I gave to him all that I was,

And this was something I’ve NEVER done.

 

I told him all my horrible secrets, I guess

 Hoping the damage would some how be undone,

I felt like I could trust him , I felt like he was the ONE! 

 

Now I’m scared the signs are all there,

 Just like they were before.

I wanna be wrong, so do I close my eyes

God I hope I’m wrong......

Is it in my head, am I looking for more

More then there really is,

Do I just pretend that none of its real,

Or is this my reality?

 

I hope it’s just me being paranoid,

Because for me this is my last chance

To give up my past move on with my life,

And finally have some happiness!

 

I have nothing more I have given him MY ALL

EVERY bit of LOVE I had left,

 So I pray I was right, that he’s is my Dark Prince,

 Come to give me Love, and a new Life.

 

For me this time I felt like it was all or nothing

So I decided I was in

That’s why I gave so much and showed him my hand

In hopes that this time I’d win.

 

But I’m scared now I feel him slipping away from me,

When I put my trust in others, they just end up hurting me.

Why should he be any different?

Why couldn’t I just let it be?

Why open up and give him my all

Put myself in that position

To be hurt once more,

GOD I wanna scream.

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Midgetguy commented on Monsters Are Real

04-15-2012

Very nice! My favorite line was this: "I’m drowning, cant breathe, I’m loosing the battle To maintain the perfect smile." That line really resonated with me, and on that note, I can relate. I felt your pain, and I'm honestly rooting for you by the end! And, if this poem is truly based on real life experiences, I hope you've found your Dark Prince, and I hope you two are happy together. Wonderful poem! = )

BreeLove

04/17/2012

thank u very much for taking the time to read and comment. my prince is in my life but currently we have removed the romantic part of the relationship for many reasons but we are in love and i pray one day we can be what we once hoped. but time will tell.....

Crush commented on Monsters Are Real

04-10-2012

In one of the Hannibal Lecter movies, he says, "Scars remind us that the past is real." monsters ARE real i just hope you learn to see the differnce between true hearts and those monsters. emotional write, keep on.

poeticmike commented on Monsters Are Real

03-18-2012

This piece is full of emotion & pain & I can feel each strong push as you let those words out. Beautiful write. We all stumble upon people we think could bring us away from stress, loneliness, & discomfort hoping that love & happiness is within them...Only to be hurt realizing their just like the last guy/girl. Many of us fall for the wrong types, but remember if you want better then you must change things with yourself because if we keep geting hurt its WE that are the problem not the other person... Loved this piece I feel deeply with you.....Poeticmike

BreeLove

03/19/2012

thank you for taking the time to read. alot of this wasnt just about falling for the wrong person it was about things that happened as a child that no matter what i could not have changed or stopped , and then in stead of dealing i just locked it all away. steppin back now i see i did more damage then good to myself by doing so, but as a child we instinctivly take defensive matters to protect ourselfs the only way we know how, for me it was to lock it all up inside. but i am getting healthy mentally by dealing with it now. better late then never; isn't that what they say? -Bree

poetryprincess commented on Monsters Are Real

03-13-2012

Okay, sound like you have been tortured and locked in a cave to scavenge for food an finally let out to have someone else do the same. Has somebody actually hurt you in a way you can't fully explain. Did you say no? Did you go through with it what really happened? What is this terror you feel?

Solaris commented on Monsters Are Real

03-09-2012

Hmmm. Intriguing peace. Very intimate, very much a release of the soul. I can see very well that this question plagues you, and maybe hte answer is best left unknown until the truth of your "Dark Prince" reveals itself. Then again maybe its best if the veil of the truth was best torn away like the proverbial band aid. Still it was a good read. Bravo!

To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

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