Moving On

4 Comments

Poem Commentary

It's how I feel about leaving an unhealthy relationship; maybe it's manipulative.  Perhaps, it's too dependent.  It's a writing about seizing happiness by leaving a partner who causes the opposite.

Moving On

Where will I go
Who will I know
How will it feel
When it loses appeal

Faithfully, my homely abode
Makes me travel lonely roads
I try to look inside to sense
An answer to troubles this dense
Night time comes at my expense
This woman stares at me with pretense
She says what she doesn't mean
Getting a rise only to cause a scene

Where will I go
Who will I know
How will it feel
When it loses appeal

Was she worth the seasons
And more that I needed
She asked me for a reason
Just as I was leaving
Through the good and the bad
She subtly scratched my plans,
Mistreated me through the years,
Defeated me with her convincing tears


Where will I go
Who will I know
How will it feel
When it loses appeal

I looked her in the eye
As she twitched and began to cry
This time, I'm a different man
I held out my future plan
And I left this woman standing there
With a sign on the fence that read 'beware'.

Poem Comments

(4)

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sandyb commented on Moving On

12-12-2009

wow, it's like that was my life. is my life. I know that kind of pain all to well. But still here I am, not brave enough to venture on to the: Where, Who, How, or When as of yet.

Dianajj50 commented on Moving On

12-10-2009

Very good....the message was clear....and you knew the answer....really liked it....

BigDaddyCash commented on Moving On

12-06-2009

I think the rhythm is fantastic, the words flow smooth like the words of a song, actually it would make a fantastic song. I'm sitting here strumming my guitar and speaking the words to the beat of a waltz and it feels just right. Talented piece, thanks for sharing. LOL,BDC

AshRenee commented on Moving On

06-04-2009

I like this one. A lot. Seriously, this is awesome! It tugs at the heartstrings. The Rhyme is a bit forced, but other than that, it's great

If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

Kaiprin’s Poems (43)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Forsaken 0
Hatred’s Plea 3
Insanity's Fire 1
Walking in Circles, Waiting for Yesterday's Kiss 1
What Words Couldn't Say 7
Haiku Part 6: T(eas[e/y]) 3
Clarity Haiku 3
Forsaken Haiku 4
Why Should We Try? Haiku 1
The Evening News Haiku 1
Goodbye 1
Late At Night 2
American Ido( l / n't ) 3
Haiku Tangent: What Does It Really Mean? 2
When It's Over 2
Haiku Part 5: The Ghuzal Tragedy 3
Haiku Part 4: Appeal 1
Haiku Part 3: Prey 2
Haiku Part 2: Regrets 7
Haiku Part 1: Safe and Warm 8
Visions of Me In California 3
The Other Side of Me 3
Raindrops on My Piano 2
Look Through Me 2
Any Other Way 1
Changing Chance 1
As I Am 1
Apart 3
The Weekend Sand 2
Why Worry 2
As I Lie Here 3
Broken 3
Two 1
Here To Stay 1
She Won't 2
Slow Down Mister Steep 1
Unwanted Progress 2
Who's That Lady 3
Begin Again 0
Quitting Again 1
Hardly Hidden 0
Facing the Truth 1
Moving On 4