My Destiny

DESTINY:


A deep sigh escapes from my slightly parted lips as I feel the loneliness consume my soul….My love.. my life...and my pride are all broken… Love and devotion… are all such strong emotions.. my feelings erupt and rip through my body spilling onto the already blood soaked earth....They say to just believe in destiny… but what is destiny?…Is destiny something we make for ourselves or is it something that is made for us?...As i sit here knowing that i have lost my chance to return to innocence.. I feel the emptiness as it creeps across my mind, body and soul, tearing at the edges of my shattered heart.. I have no words for the emotions that terrorize me... and the fear that grips me... For those fears have taken my breath away and have left me almost silent… I whisper in the dark for I fear that if I speak out loud my world will come crashing down around me.. I hide in the eternal darkness and pray those fears do not find me. The pain is so great as I try to bury the hurt that grows ever steadily inside of me.. I clutch my arms tight around my body holding onto the shreds of my sanity as the anguish pours from me and escapes in the form of tears that run down my cheeks.. Oh God.. I feel like i'm dieing inside a little everyday as I hold on to what I should let go.. Yet.. I have no choice.. I have no voice..and i have no more strength...Tortuous thoughts rip through my mind and flood my heart as I rush to the edge of my world... and stop….i peer over the edge.....thinking its not to far … every second… every minute…. Tear by tear…. With every beat of my heart.. I tell myself ...this life is just a dream.. we are not what we seem.. please take them away from me…and leave me alone to drift on these winds of nothingness… I ask myself...who’s to blame for my mistakes as I sit here watching as life passes me by… wishing I could fly…The Pain threatens to overcome me.. for I have found the road to nowhere and I have tried to escape but it holds me here in my solitude.. My mind reels with it all..and floods my body with so many emotions that i can not explain...I wonder.. do you know me?...Why am i here?..Where do i go to find the peace i so crave....

Now as I tumble to the empty abyss below... my heart aches of lost loves and broken dreams … I wonder...do you feel my body as it soars above the formality of life?… For within my heart are memories of what life and love could be.. Most people pay no mind to the pain that festers deep inside of us all… for most of us there is no peace here… Watch me as I fly away and become extinct… I close my eyes and cry for the loss of innocence and what might have been… I take a deep breath and let it out slowly as my small spark of sunlight fades into darkness one last time… With eyes squeezed tightly shut...I make a wish upon the first star my mind imagines… I hope you are not like me.. I hope you can understand and forgive…. Here...You are welcome to this life..I hope it brings you all the love, joy, passion and tenderness you so deserve.... with arms open wide I give it to you freely…. Take it in your hand.. it is your destiny…