There is nothing here for me anymore

no love or caring or joy in my life

Yes I have things in my life that keep me going

but for once I want more then just the day to day

things that I put a happy face on for

I want someone who brings me joy and love and so much more

I want someone to spend my life with who appreciates my time

I turn to God and ask for just simplest of things

knowing I have to believe, have faith, and not give up

But I also know that we do not get just what

we want in our time but his

He wants us to be happy or so we are told

so how can this pain be so much more

I sit and I cry and I wonder why

why all this is happening and I don't understnad

why this is all out of my hands

I am a good person and I do make mistakes

but all I'm asking for is a little love and joy

I am tired of my emotions running through my head

I give up - I have nothing to give

I can not go through all this pain anymore

The wall is up with no hope getting through

just blank emotions on the inside and smiles on the outside

and me just muddling through.......