How long can I wonder in the Desert

Without Love

How can my life have a meaning

Without a soul mate

Deeper and deeper I go

Into the sands

Trapped by the memories

Betrayed by those who left scars

There is no escape from this place

Without Loves rescue

I’ve lived long enough to experience

All the wrong type of Hearts

And looks are not what they appear

Not who a person is, in the Heart

How am I suppose to look at beauty

Without a dampened Spirit

Without a twist of pain in the Heart

I use to look at all with Hope and promise

But there are those Hearts

That are selfish

Doing terrible things to Love

How can I protect my Heart

And not lose my Hope in Love

I stand by a belief

That there is Love out there

Somewhere

Waiting and searching for me

As I am for her

Is this just a selfish fantasy

Made for the sake of my Heart

I’ve given so much of my life

So much of my time

For a woman I haven’t met

I use to have walls

I use to be able

To protect my Heart

From the wicked

But those walls have been worn down by time

And I have no filter anymore

I can’t shield myself

From the selfish

In fact I embrace them

With arms wide open

Only to end the day

Hurt even more

The entire force that has driven me

My entire adult life

Has been nothing more

Than my search

For my soul mate

For True Love

Knowing this

And having the gifts GOD gave me

I never cheated on a single woman

Never gave up on a woman I Loved

I always fought for what my Heart felt

For who I believed in

I confess

A repeated mistake through the years

Was leaping from one woman to the next

After a woman would abandon my Heart

I never gave my Heart time to properly heal

Or learn

From what had happened

I always tried to go back in time

Always tried to fix

What wasn’t in their Heart

I wanted it to be one of the four I loved so badly

But not one of them

Was the one

This Desert is teaching me one hard lesson after the next

One being

GOD has a plan for me

I have a destiny, a path

To follow

It leads to Love

But first I must defeat myself

My past

My demands

My scars

My desires

These must be dealt with first

Before I can find my true meaning

Find myself

Then…

Then I’ll be ready for “Her”

May she reach out through my Dreams

And touch me with a tender kiss

Healing the pain

Until I can complete this journey

Through the Desert

I Love you

-Fin-