(Dedicated to someone I wish I had never had to meet under such circumstances: my first oncologist)
 

It is terrible to live in fear.

Terrible to wake in dread.

Terrifying to feel death near.

Horrifying to feel one’s future dead.

I had clouds in my heart I needed to clear.

I had words in my heart that needed to be said.

Then I needed someone willing to hear

The sorrowful words weighing on me like lead.

-----------------------

Thank you for listening, Dr. Galsky.

I wish I knew you well enough to call you Matthew.

But it is enough that you listened to me,

And for that I deeply thank you.

-----------------------

I know that I will be,

Only very briefly,

In your life, floating by:

A dying ember.

But after I die,

I hope that I

Will find favor enough from you,

That it will be worth it to you,

My life to remember.

-----------------------

I am only a small ember of fire and light,

Almost too tiny to see.

And I am surrounded by the night,

And soon I must cease to be.

-----------------------

I’m afraid, and ashamed to be so afraid.

I’m lonely, and grieved to be so alone.

The wondrous light of my life now dwindles toward unknown shade.

The bright light of my mind and my living soul fear to be totally gone.

----------------------- 

My grief and my fear needed to be heard.

It would have been easy for you to cut me short, or to censor me.

But you let me speak, and you listened to every word.

And when I asked hard questions, you answered honestly.

Thank you for hearing me out, though I probably sometimes sounded absurd.

Thank you for your honesty.

-----------------------

It is not the end of my misery;

But you made this strange and frightening fate easier for me.

I believe you really care about me, and what my further fate will be.

I trust you.

Thank you, Dr. Galsky.

=======================


Written by Michael LP, aka MLP
aka PoetWithCancer, aka PWC, aka Mr. Poet
Written on Monday, February 23, 2009  2:19 am
Temperature: 56 degrees F.  Winds: 1 MPH
Copyright (C) 2010 by Michael L. P.  All rights reserved