Pushing away the loving Void.......

10 Comments

  • Altair
  • Don't read me, I am not that good.......

Poem Commentary

I was sitting in class today only to be overwhelmed with a reticent and still existent thought of a failed dream I thought to share with someone, thus I quickly wrote my thoughts on paper...

Pushing away the loving Void.......

Allow me to push
Push your world away
To dimensions of aggrieving fade, put away, from my mind
allow me to break this chain, my heart thus bonded to your domain
Insane, that I still write about our plane
we once shared, now stained by our fallen reign.
As the falling rain signifies the pain
this visual I know so well maintains
its temperamental sameness within my loneliness
how can you contain all the shame you know of?
Quaint, run away to your path's subconscious
lost in strengthened bounds when you loss my touch
upon your lips to hush your worries, so much
in the reticent chamber that harbored our love.

Allow me to push, your world away
allow me the charming nature, I displayed
allow me the ability, to covet and pray
allow me the absence...of you in my world, one day.

One day to suffice in giving my all
sufficed to help you breathe in your pause...remorse
I walked the tight rope, understanding your flaws
only to be left alone with no audience.
The importance of seeing it though for I never felt anything such as you
such rue in dualities that I brew
this poem, the words, you knew that I loved you.
So weak and powerless in defeat
but the source of my energy is stored away incomplete
in your mind I hope I live for eternity
you're mine to cast to the depths of nothing
only to find yourself, taunted...wanting
yet can't escape the void of your world so haunting.

Those thirteen lines are a relic in pushing
forth, away from you and the love I am missing
blisters in remission as my lead grows dull
this pencil's memories so tragically full.
To rest upon the mantle, alone, without aid
it shall never admit again to the page
as the spider webs cover and drip blood in rage
for the taste of the fly, who was caught one day
twisted in full, what a lovely display
the chaos that beauty brings, what a web you made.....

Allow me to push, your world away
allow me the charming nature, once displayed
allow me the ability, to covet and pray
allow me the absence....of you in my world, one day......

Poem Comments

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knight4696 commented on Pushing away the loving Void.......

06-08-2010

Altair ... So I see I missed a couple of your older writes ... Time has a way of slipping by and blurring one's vision ... Sorry for the oversight ... Anyway this is another awesome write bud. The pain is tangible even when camoflaged within your carfully chosen metaphoric words. An Awesome Job! :) Ken

SuSpence commented on Pushing away the loving Void.......

04-27-2010

Great write altair! Really top shelf, and you are correct sir about the theme of this poem and mine. Thanks for directing me here, I am off to read this pieces counterpart. -Spence

Altair

04/27/2010

Glad you got a chance to stop by spence, you are a great poet and when I see similarity I like to get some insight into some of my own writes. Thank you

Rhymer commented on Pushing away the loving Void.......

04-26-2010

Love the picture it suits the poem well, love the poem and I see why it is a favorite, thank you for posting in the forum 10 from me.

Altair

04/27/2010

Thank you so much rhymer for stopping by, I am honored to receive such esteem from a poet such as yourself.

dreamscape commented on Pushing away the loving Void.......

04-23-2010

Wow Altair, the ink from your fingers paint the most beautiful pictures even when those pictures are horrific in nature. This is so touching, and I feel so badly for your loss, and even more so to the one you speak of that lost you. Such pain and metaphors, and the flow, I need not even speak of the fluid transitions in this poem...I read this three times and each time it completely absorbed me...though the situation sucks, I loved how you created this poem.

Altair

04/24/2010

thank you again dream, you are quickly climbing the ladder as one of my favorite readers..I will definitely have to pay you back in confidence by reading your work, my apologies I never got to it before, but as you well know, life has been a maze of wonders...

SuperChick76 commented on Pushing away the loving Void.......

04-22-2010

I have read this before, but alas, forgot to comment. That does not change the awesomeness that this poem is, just makes me late in not telling you of it.. I find there is not much to add to the others' comments, but I shall try. For your expression of longing for a broken, desolate love is one too commonly known. And void, I must agree, is a wonderful choice for description of such an expression. Brilliantly written, once again.

Altair

04/22/2010

yea it is about time you got to it haha, jk, I do tend to get in my moods when my mind is warped into such thoughts about the reticent memory, glad you like it. thank you

Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

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