" A Fathers Betrayal"

I would be lying if I told you my perception of men was at all a healthy one,

Especially since the man who raised me, was in fact a crazed lunatic, and pedifile,

I remeber it so well as if it just happened a few moments ago,

The way he smelled, and the way he puffed those Pall Malls, it made me sick,

I would sit in the backseat of the big white Cadillac when he was in the front seat betraying my older sister,

I would cry as softly as possible as not to enrage him into a severe beating that I never deserved,

I know Mom knew but she lived a life of complete denial, God forbid we matter a little,

I do not recall as a child ever feeling safe, secure, or at all loved,

We were more like prisoners of hate, putrid, sin all alike,

I became a woman who would never love a man from the fear I had embedded deep in my soul, what a lonely existence,

Those scary nights when he would be a drunken Army, and War Vetern, those were the scariest nights of my life,

He remembered his hell but not once did he consider he was creating ours,

The memories would be burned into our minds forever, only to smolder in deeper with each passing day,

He died pleasantly if you ask me, when he deserved to be tortured for eternity,

How do you look into a mirror or face who you are when you are nothing but an evil inhumane thing,

I would not call you even an animal for that would be a compliment, since a animal would not consider doing what you did,

I cried and cried the very day he died, only because there was so much I wanted to do to you myself,

I never was compensated for what you stole from me, including my innocence,

I was once a loving, compassionate, and good child, and you even stole that,

I recall, remember, retrieve, relive, rebuke, you and all you ever represented,

How I have asked all my life could you do it, and not want to end your own life, for you should of made yourself sick,

It has to end at some point, the sickness. It will end right here and right now. I wanted a father to love, teach, and nurture me,

I got the opposite, but I will not let you destroy me for even one more day, for I have wasted my whole life hurting over what you did to all of us,

I know that you will not prosper or be welcome in Heaven for the Lord himself said Whoa to those who hurt the children,

I know what the Lord meant by that, but you, you never believed there was a God, and you will now know the truth.