"Open window"

5 Comments

Tags:
  • Other

    "Open window"

    2am, you're lying there motionless in a cold sweat. Heart pounding with as much force as a semi truck smashing through a brick wall. You can hear the night singing through the air as its soft melodies blend in with dark overcasted skys. What's out there? Who's out there? Could it be a masked murderer? Or just an old stray cat pouncing atop the garbage can rummiging through the smells of the old tart garbage looking for food. You sit up but don't move. You hear the rustling of leaves outside your window,you look over but there's nothing there. A loud,frozen cold wind rushes through the window like blazing saddles of horseman. You lay back down frightened of what's outside the open window.

    Poem Comments

    (5)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    mamasan commented on "Open window"

    10-30-2009

    The thing I am struck by is that despite your worries and concerns about what may or may not be outside the window; you do not close yourself up. Rather you keep that window open and this old lady predicts you will go far in all venues. It is apparent you know how to use words to paint a picture; making your message clear. Also, it encourages me to go in the recesses of my mind and think about what is and what is not out there. Your winning smile tells me that you will be a winner in whatever you hope or wish to achieve in life. You are young and youth is on your side in terms of reaching your goals. Just keep an open umbrella handy for the times the sun is not shining and I am quite positive your future will match that gorgeous smile of yours. Amen

    Mrpoetry87

    10/31/2009

    Thank you so much for the advice and output... I willtuck it away and keep it with me....

    intellaspy commented on "Open window"

    10-06-2009

    I find this poem unsettling... perhaps because it brings to mind all of societies urban fears. Just lovely.

    mufasa commented on "Open window"

    07-30-2009

    I love this poem,when I lived in America sometimes I felt this way,when I moved to the Canary islands I still ...sometimes felt this way. Now here on Saba the only thing to be afraid of is the noise of the wind.Now....I can sit back and smile.Great poem. thanks for the memories.

    Applepie commented on "Open window"

    06-04-2009

    LOL ok, see that's me, I aint stupid, nope, I feel you, I aint moving, not going to the window, whatever it is leave me alone

    writersblock commented on "Open window"

    04-17-2009

    I have read all your work and I like the message you send. I would suggest working on structuring the poem down to make them flow better. Keep writing, it will only help you out. And thanks for your comments.

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

    Mrpoetry87’s Poems (14)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    " Sweet Indulgance" 2
    " Free My Pain" 5
    "Our love brought me down" 6
    "Blinded by birth" 3
    "My Shoes" 8
    "The one I wish was mines" 12
    "My president is black" 7
    " You inspired me" 17
    "Dream Girl" 9
    "Ever since I met you" 9
    "When sky crys I cry" 11
    "Open window" 5
    "Why not?" 4
    "My president is black" 15