**random chaos**

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  • Confusion

    Poem Commentary

    i wrote one night awhile back... no structure... no rhyming... just a bunch of random chaos...

    **random chaos**

    i wish i could sleep...lay down and close my eyes and go to sleep...
    what is it inside that scares me so badly that i can't even go to sleep...?
    the dreams and images that invade my slumber taunt and torture me,
    the memories and moving pictures of times i cannot forget...
    the nightmares that i see when i close my eyes even before i fall asleep...
    my mind will not rest...the pain will not stop...i cannot find peace...
    exhausted...i am so tired...i just want to go to sleep...
    i want to be normal...i want this to go away...i just want to smile again...
    the world feels so big right now...and i feel so fucking small...
    overwhelmed to the point that i spin...lost within my own psychie...
    which way to go...what way to turn...where to look...i am spinning...
    so much chaos inside...so much termoil...so much confusion...
    doubt...self loathing...uncertain...so many questions...
    who am i...why am i here...where do i belong...and how do i fit in...
    what am i supposed to do...and how do i do it, when i don't know what IT is...
    i want to fix what has broken...but with so much damage...where do i start...
    it hurts to read my own words...but i cannot just lock them inside...
    the thoughts and words and pain are like cancer...they devour me...
    from the inside out...they burn holes through me...they rip and slash...
    bite and tear...i bleed from the razor scars that slice my heart...
    the thorns that puntcher my brain...the kicks to the teeth...
    and the punches to the chest...i cannot recover from the onslaught...
    beaten down...battered and bruised...bleeding and broken...
    the words i hear...my own voice...the voices of others...echoes of past confessions...
    converstions lost to time...still ring in my ears...still pulling tears from my eyes...
    stinging my skin...slicing my heart...and bludgeoning my mind...
    words cut deep...memories bleed real pain...some wounds shall always bleed...

     

     

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    inkmaster commented on **random chaos**

    01-26-2010

    Wow..That is deep..and well writen..great flow..such anger an sadness just rolling within you.I really hope the demons let you rest..Inkmaster

    Maleficent commented on **random chaos**

    01-26-2010

    wow... amazing portrait of your inner struggle... I definitely know how one thought leads to another and before ya know it... it's 3 am and ya don't even know what started it... love how you captured the moment

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

    Dano’s Poems (150)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
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    twisted 9
    autumn 14
    i think it happened again 11
    luna~tic 19
    the darkness 13
    a blinding eclipse 16
    the universe... 18
    the wind of sorrow 14
    my sorrow weeps 16
    where but the dark... 12
    immortal kiss 47
    in a darkened room 17
    our mother 7
    within these flames 12
    nocturnal (acrostic) classic rock 7
    behind wrought iron bars 25
    what i write (part 2) 8
    today 17
    the world in grey 6
    the reality of... 5
    in the shadow of a mountain 6
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    of cemetary dreams (and nightmare scapes) 12
    next to a bed... 18
    but... 15
    at a funeral 12
    seventeen (acrostic) 11
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    ashes to dust 45
    dancing in the moonlight 14
    disempowering the pain 14
    the butterfly 10
    what i write 14
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    pieces of light 8
    the sad pumpkin &... 9
    my face 12
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    silent self destruction 8
    exposed 13
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    the stacking of bricks 3
    the complexities of depression... 4
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    **random chaos** 2
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    **untitled** 2
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    **untitled** 2
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    the fog 2
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    cerebral meltdown 3
    sometimes i wish... 1
    drawing strength from a starr... 2
    disappointmen
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    1
    **untitled** 1
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    nature... 1
    reaching out 2
    the dark and the light... 1
    the insistent demon 2
    sorry... 3
    forgive me lover... (parts 1 & 2) 2
    im so sorry... 3
    **no title... just random thoughts** 1
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    winter wind whips... 1
    tired 2
    lucid dream 1
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    the mourning light 1
    another jagged pill 1
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    ?!?
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    entitlement!!
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    inside of me 1
    projected pain 1
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    panic 2
    the mourning fog 1
    when the fires burn 1
    through the night 1
    shadow casts 0
    a mournful rain 1
    i cant protect me 2
    my comfort place 0
    an echo shifts 1
    the monster 2
    welcome to my life 0
    the past is alive... 1
    ... 1
    standing on the edge 2
    my smile... 1
    anxiety 2
    my reality 0
    another view... 0
    untitled... 0
    jagged pill 2
    in the dark 1
    what to do 1
    how can i... 1
    life... 3
    a crust of pain 1
    keeping me weak... 2
    my dark world 3
    another night of wondering 2
    in the attic 4
    i hold most dear 2
    the me inside of me 2
    another day 1
    dreamed in a dream 2
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    i look... 1
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    standing in the silence of my own shadow... 3
    a blinding dark 1
    growing pain 3
    the longest of nights 5
    ... 7