Request for Intercession

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  • Prayer

    Request for Intercession

    Request For Intercession

     

    There exists someone in the world tonight

                who thinks that dreaming is for fools.

    Relying on self-will, not God’s might;

                to see manifest His light.

     

    Concern for the circumstances

                unchangeable by human hand.

    Unable to reconcile the nuances

                of His power throughout the land.

     

    Praying only to be seen,

                not soulless, nor for pity to glean.

    For a worth that that is fulfilling,

                and compensated for due schilling.

     

     Pressing on with all faith,

                that He will guide the way,

    to a glory only glimpsed;

                in a private moment of prayer.

    But, infected by reality,

                the promise doth diminish,

    and cause a return to promises;

                until it is finished.

    1710743pm ©JeanMarie

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    dahlusion commented on Request for Intercession

    07-08-2010

    "Pressing on with all faith, that He will guide the way—yes, yes, lets him guide your way, for with out him, you are lost. Sweet. Nice rhymes, a poetic pearl. Bravo

    jeanpnkldyg

    07/10/2010

    Thank you for your kind words - they are always appreciated. I am simply awashed.

    RHPeat commented on Request for Intercession

    07-08-2010

    Jean/ I find the intent very interesting. But the presentation a bit weak. the word "His" though capped is confusing in the subject of "someone in the world tonight". If you do mean God, why not just say God. Then in the line of S3L11 "that that" makes that line a bit obtuse for understanding. And in the last stanza we find the pronoun "He." Also capped but really not definitive in the subject of the first stanza "that someone within the world". So the line confuses the presentation. It sounds like a conclusion is given in the first stanza that should be reached in the closure of the poem. Or maybe should be reached as the epiphany of the poem. Not written at all, but reached through the understanding of the poem. Any obstruction to contextual flow will always hurt the rhythm of the poem. And that is what I see and feel here. I do however feel the intent within the poem is sincere and well felt, but the drive behind the form slips a bit. That the contextual circumstance is lost some by not being more definitive in its assessments. A poet friend// RH Peat

    jeanpnkldyg

    07/10/2010

    'someone in the world tonight' is not God. 'that that' was a typo. Thanks for your critique.

    RHPeat

    07/10/2010

    That was my point. The problem with pronouns it that they can distort information at times. The further they are from the noun that they refer to— the more distortion there is when speaking of more than one person or thing within a poem. And generally the subject of the poem is presented in the opening of the poem since that's the intro, just like paragraphs have topic sentences. and in the first stanza you form the subject of the poem as "someone" the first character introduced in the poem. That's why I suggested that maybe that should come later in the poem. If God is going to be the subject maybe he should be in the first stanza of the poem. Just a thought. A poet friend// RH Peat

    StandingBear commented on Request for Intercession

    01-12-2010

    A well written work you've penned. "Praying only to be seen, not soulless, nor for pity to glean". Great lines, great write!

    jeanpnkldyg

    07/10/2010

    It's been a long wait to acknowledge your comment to be sure, but thank you none the less. ;)

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

    Unknown Source

    jeanpnkldyg’s Poems (51)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Life's Pace 1
    When Words Fail.... 1
    For His Glory....a prose piece. 1
    My Place...today 0
    Just a thought... 1
    I Pray 0
    Sufficient Fear 1
    Purposed to Love 0
    Grace 0
    Mother 0
    Illegitimate Child 0
    Word 0
    Facebook Fetish 0
    When the Ancients Love... 0
    Going Home 0
    Heaven is Waiting 2
    Never Ending... 1
    For J. C. P. (13y) 2
    Fly Away 6
    This Battle is .... (2) 7
    TO BE LOVED 5
    Look Up.. 3
    MYSTERIOUS ENEMY 1
    boredom 2
    Angels 2
    Christmas Musings 6
    Letters, Artwork and Inspiration 4
    The Vanished 8
    What more to say... 6
    For the Fall 5
    Gratitude 3
    Surfer Dude 26
    Cave 16
    Glorious, Wonderful.... 4
    So far, Untitled 4
    Love, Leave me alone 6
    I saw your face 4
    Request for Intercession 3
    Until My Dying Day 11
    No Glory Here 5
    Day Is Done 6
    Immersion of Self 4
    Returning 4
    My Children's Mother 6
    Fortunate Circumstance 2
    Sentiment for a Daughter 4
    Untitled Conversation 4
    Alone With God 6
    Still Waters 7
    The Soldiers Prayer 4
    Slip Away From the Darkness 4