searching the darkness

10 Comments

Poem Commentary

to all of those that i have neglected through this process... please accept my appology... to my friends and family whom i am withdrawn from i cannot say i am sorry enough... i started this and i am not sure how to end it... if i leave it behind now i am afraid that it will pop back up later and i will regret not seeing it through... the last thing i need os more demons and ghosts to haunt and torment me... as i continue to search my soul... as i forge through all of this muck i lose more of myself in the hopes of finding myself again

searching the darkness

everywhere i turn darkness is all around me
i see the light but it just out of reach
its warmth upon my face
pales to the cold i feel on my back
the chill that runs through
fractures my heart
frostbite kills my spirit
and deadly icicles pierce my soul
i fight to resist the numb
the darkness is so cold


i descend deeper into the abyss
the light blurs in the distance
as i spin away
i stumble and trip
falling
i crawl through my own pain
i have drowned in my own tears a thousand times
consumed by this sorrow
and swallowed up this misery
i am off balance
shifted left of center
i have lost who i use to be
who i am suppose to be
but i am trying
because i do not want this to define me


a helpless feeling of hopelessness overwhelms me
as my eyes go black
blindness sets in and i am oblivious to the world
i have lost sight... lost faith in myself
i fall weak
crumbling at my own feet
withdrawn
my life becomes a casualty
gunned down by unfriendly fire


this is the choice that i have made
to search through the darkness for answers
the rip through my own soul
searching
to follow a path into the dark
and unveil the answers it might hold
to finally set me free from myself
emotional self abuse
mental razorblades slice me to shreds
i bleed
i have martyred myself for myself
sacrificed my sanity in order to find peace
i will turn the darkness inside out...
until i have found what i need
because i have not found it yet
but my search continues...


 

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darkangel16 commented on searching the darkness

03-30-2012

it is like you know every thought that i have ever had or have

tenderpoison commented on searching the darkness

01-22-2011

this is painfully honest and I relate. want proof? read Fool's Gold. journey well friend...we have to shine our own light in the dark :)

Dano

01/30/2011

fools gold was brilliantly written... cannot shime my light until i can find it... thanks for reading and commenting

spbsdude commented on searching the darkness

12-08-2010

Beauty rests in the eye of the poet, and you have created a work of beauty here. The search for self is a life time occupation. It is a journey to be enjoyed and savored. It is life.

Dano

12/08/2010

it is such a struggle sometimes though... the search for self and inner peace has many ups and downs... thanks for the comment

LenaM commented on searching the darkness

12-04-2010

This brought me to tears and truth be told I'm trying to type while sobbing . You've described in perfect detail much of my journey in my search for me I've a long ways to go before I find me . As a result all that I ever thought I was will die so that who I am can shine through . Excellent piece and straight into my favs for inspiration on those days when I think I will surely give up the ghost forever , for there is grit and determination written all through this

Dano

12/06/2010

sorry i didnt mean to make you cry... but i hope on those days when you are sure you are going to give up the ghost forever this will give you the inspiration that you need fight through it... because after all sometimes all i have is my grit and determination but its just enough to get me through

ApaqRasgirl commented on searching the darkness

12-04-2010

that was wonderful dear, so much deep thought and powerful emotions of ones self and the frightening things the mind can play on you.......fantastic read dear......loved it.......a 10 all the way........love asha

Dano

12/04/2010

thank you very much asha

Poetry is what is lost in translation.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

Dano’s Poems (150)

Title Comments
Title Comments
from an angels view 19
searching the darkness 10
a letter from santa 14
thanksgiving (acrostic) 12
the depth of... 11
ive wished 7
absentee 12
this is... 13
a journey into the dark 7
the cold of november 14
your voice 12
the yin to the yang 14
twisted 9
autumn 14
i think it happened again 11
luna~tic 19
the darkness 13
a blinding eclipse 16
the universe... 18
the wind of sorrow 14
my sorrow weeps 16
where but the dark... 12
immortal kiss 47
in a darkened room 17
our mother 7
within these flames 12
nocturnal (acrostic) classic rock 7
behind wrought iron bars 25
what i write (part 2) 8
today 17
the world in grey 6
the reality of... 5
in the shadow of a mountain 6
nothing will ever be the same 10
of cemetary dreams (and nightmare scapes) 12
next to a bed... 18
but... 15
at a funeral 12
seventeen (acrostic) 11
the fortunate one(s) 7
what did i do... 24
ashes to dust 45
dancing in the moonlight 14
disempowering the pain 14
the butterfly 10
what i write 14
sorry (i killed the after glow) 11
the humidity rises (an erotic tale) 9
pieces of light 8
the sad pumpkin &... 9
my face 12
for a long time... 14
(an explination of) distractions 6
tell me... 6
the charelston cookie tin 9
silent self destruction 8
exposed 13
the means of the day (a true valentines poem) 2
a poem about nothing... 8
blood bleeds black 7
dissecting myself 3
i will be just fine 3
the stacking of bricks 3
the complexities of depression... 4
spirits & ghosts 3
**random chaos** 2
bloodlust 3
...somethings missing... 2
15 years... 3
beauty sleeps entombed (parts 1 & 2) 3
**untitled** 2
the overstuffed closet 3
the candy dish 2
anxiety speaks 2
**untitled** 2
myself and the light 6
the fog 2
fire and tears 3
cerebral meltdown 3
sometimes i wish... 1
drawing strength from a starr... 2
disappointmen
t...
1
**untitled** 1
the flower garden 3
nature... 1
reaching out 2
the dark and the light... 1
the insistent demon 2
sorry... 3
forgive me lover... (parts 1 & 2) 2
im so sorry... 3
**no title... just random thoughts** 1
to eternity... 2
winter wind whips... 1
tired 2
lucid dream 1
the rains came... 2
the mourning light 1
another jagged pill 1
i just cant... 1
entitlement?!
?!?
1
entitlement!!
!!
1
burning within 4
inside of me 1
projected pain 1
the night... the dakness & the truth? 1
panic 2
the mourning fog 1
when the fires burn 1
through the night 1
shadow casts 0
a mournful rain 1
i cant protect me 2
my comfort place 0
an echo shifts 1
the monster 2
welcome to my life 0
the past is alive... 1
... 1
standing on the edge 2
my smile... 1
anxiety 2
my reality 0
another view... 0
untitled... 0
jagged pill 2
in the dark 1
what to do 1
how can i... 1
life... 3
a crust of pain 1
keeping me weak... 2
my dark world 3
another night of wondering 2
in the attic 4
i hold most dear 2
the me inside of me 2
another day 1
dreamed in a dream 2
a year in the life (dealing with death) 1
i look... 1
where my secrets are kept 1
a mouthful of words 2
i will not fear (when my eyes are blind) 2
i am aware (i'm already dead) 7
standing in the silence of my own shadow... 3
a blinding dark 1
growing pain 3
the longest of nights 5
... 7