Sunset

10 Comments

Tags:
  • Lost Love

    Poem Commentary

    When everything seems wonderful, what is essential can slip away: A golden opportunity, the melody of a long forgotten love song, and sadly… a love one.

    Sunset
    O Sunset of my afternoon,
    You leave the sky so soon!
    Is it the shadow of the night
    inciting you for flight?

    stay, stay...
    don't go away!

    for when this day is done;
    these desperate dreams i dream today
    along with you
    they're also gone!

    Poem Comments

    (10)

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    nhorlandi commented on Sunset

    01-26-2010

    .Don't want to loss anything that is in your grasp. Hold it tight before it slips away. Simple and brief but lovely.
    Reply to Comment

    stellar commented on Sunset

    12-07-2009

    I like the style...reminds me of the classical filipino poems..love the nostalgic effect
    Reply to Comment

    zaphnathpaaneah

    12/08/2009

    well, i'm filipino so i can't deny the influence, if ever. i wanted to write this one like a fleeting melody. thank you my friend. zaph.

    SavVySam commented on Sunset

    11-04-2009

    Sometimes we just don't want to turn loose of a thought,a dream, or a love...Savor those times! Nice work my friend! Keep Well!
    Reply to Comment

    zaphnathpaaneah

    11/28/2009

    and what's there to savor more than the times being with a love one! thank you my friend. zaph

    Stryx commented on Sunset

    09-25-2009

    A nice mood, well said. - I would only change the last line to: are also gone! But I like it.
    Reply to Comment

    zaphnathpaaneah

    09/28/2009

    you sensed the mood. you’re keen my friend. i would have also replaced the phrase “they're also gone” to ”'are also gone” and interchanged the last two lines to make it grammatically correct. however, i took it as poetic license to use "they're" to make it ‘smoother to the tongue’ while maintaining the alliteration. thank you for liking the poem. zaph

    wheelsal commented on Sunset

    08-10-2009

    I like your writes. You are tight and strong with words. Sally
    Reply to Comment

    zaphnathpaaneah

    09/16/2009

    thank you for the kind comments my dear friend. zaph

    The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

    zaphnathpaaneah’s Poems (10)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    I shall not write again 21 09/25/2009
    three words 10 09/16/2009
    an empty poem 11 08/11/2009
    four letters 6 08/11/2009
    constant 6 08/11/2009
    how soon... 2 08/11/2009
    sanctuary 8 08/11/2009
    haunted 3 08/11/2009
    Sunset 10 09/27/2009
    Simple Wishes, Fulfilled Promises 11 02/01/2009
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