Svengali

2 Comments

Tags:
  • Passion
    • ,
  • Anger
    • ,
  • Devotion
    • ,
  • Erotic
    • Allwhethergirl
    • is glad to have written this last poem, glad that it is how I feel, more myself somehow

    Svengali

    Identity,
    I gave over.

    No questions,
    No regards.

    You, reins in hand,
    Randy drover
    (bent me over)
    (made me over)

    Down and down and then
    Kicks
    and kisses
    Lies in your truth

    But I see

    I see it all the same
    (shame)

    Bonds loosed each by each
    Self to self again.

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    jescherr commented on Svengali

    08-16-2009

    This is good. It is better than most of the ones that they publish in the magazines I get, i.e. the New Yorker for one. The use of parenthesis is good. On your next one hone in on iambic pentameter for the rhythm. You have already done this somewhat but really use it. I think that with your natural style this will open a new door for you. I think poetry needs structure. That makes me weird in the world of today but if you read the greats they were not as free form as originally thought. Then again it is just a suggestion, take it or leave it.
    Reply to Comment

    Allwhethergirl

    08/17/2009

    Thanks so much for the feedback! I agree about structure and feel some of my best stuff was back in school when we had specific assignments, such as I once wrote a sestina, which has a very specific form...

    GuitarMomma commented on Svengali

    08-14-2009

    I like this.... Mysterious.... Sensuous.... Wish I could write like this! Nice work girl! Keli
    Reply to Comment

    Allwhethergirl

    08/17/2009

    Thanks, Keli! I appreciate your thoughts so much!!!

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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