Ten minutes...eternity

12 Comments

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  • Death

    Ten minutes...eternity

    Cold.
    lying there, in the alley
    Darkness.
    the light of day expiring to a morbid, dreary night
    Wetness.
    the crimson drops of life seep endlessly into an accumulation of what one was
    Enduring.
    surviving through, trying desperately to aquire a shard of light
    Blurred.
    visions of what will occur, and of what has occured conviening as one
    Bleak.
    the forshadowing of a current condition casting a perception of eternal end
    Dawning.
    of light? no. of a realization of the closure, a beginning to the end of hope
    Light.
    a savior?
    Dark.
    a mere reminder of the inclement condition of wellbeing
    Darker.
    the sharde of remaining existence begins slipping into oblivion
    Darkest.
    a total absence of hope
    Lost.
    in a swirling madness
    Peace.
    it is done...

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    UnworthyFather commented on Ten minutes...eternity

    06-16-2009

    I really liked this poem!! The last ten minutes of one's life brought to a violent end! I love the way that you portray the struggle to live, the ever grasping hand at any shard of hope, and finally the total absence of hope, and then... peace. Beautiful. Priceless. Thanks for sharing.

    IAMLIKEU commented on Ten minutes...eternity

    05-19-2009

    This reminds me of a little bird dying in a dark alley or a revelation that life is not always kind coming to fruition Am I close or is your imagery lost on me? I gave it a 10 as I liked it Read my TO OTHER POETS and QUIET

    organicchick commented on Ten minutes...eternity

    04-20-2009

    This one gave me a chill......very uniquely written. Dark but i like it!!

    odes commented on Ten minutes...eternity

    04-16-2009

    may I suggest using a colon (:) after the declarative words where their explanations follow? The punctuation is key here - the message must not be missed or misinterpreted. Lovely poem!

    Drivingczar commented on Ten minutes...eternity

    04-16-2009

    Most interesting! Great write!

    Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    dangedmanjr’s Poems (25)

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