The Coal Steam Locomotive

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Poem Commentary

Remember when as a kid, so many things seemed greater than they really were?  And how as you grew older they reduced in size.  I had this challenge as a boy and will share a summer in my life if you care to tag along , I'll pedal slow if you don't have a bike'     -les

The Coal Steam Locomotive

To be just 9 or 10 years old, back in my day, wasn't pretty.
The small town that we lived in, wasn't too far from the city.
I was on my second bike by then, knew every street in town
Cause, especially on the weekends, I would pedal all around.
The bottom end of our Main street, stopped at the railroad track.
Where a depot house sat painted orange, but the roof was smokey black.
Mr Humphrey was the agent/clerk who handled all the freight;
He sold the passenger tickets, and kept you up to date.
A ramp along side the depot, held the wagons that were used,
For boxes for the customers; Not for children to abuse!
When, a Streamliner stopped for a customer, we could always tell,
The conductor, had a whistle, or he rang a little bell.
The baggage would move swiftly with very little pain
So the train could keep it's schedule, and be on the go again.
One of the trains had a wide cowcatcher; that was a sight to see;
We called it "Puddle Jumper" and we would laugh with glee'
Hey, there goes our funny named train, best get out of it's way'
It's memories still linger on, it is fresh in mind, today.
We liked to hear its' whistle, a shrill and piercing sound
I know because it could be heard, on the other side of town.
Us kids, we weren't allowed to play, where we could watch the trains,
Or the depot agent called our folks, then we would witness pains!
But if we knew a Locomotive was headed through our town,
We would take the chance, way in advance, to try and be around.
These Engines were like Monsters, belching black soot in the air,
Their size Enormous! to say the least, we kids would stand and stare.
It sounded like a thousand snakes, by all it's hissing sound !
The noise was almost shattering; it was heard for miles around.
The freight cars were uncoupled; the Engine stayed down the track;
Huffing and a Puffing, turning a blue sky into black.
And when it blew it's whistle several times to say the least,
I was frightened by a monster--about to show its' teeth!
And then, when it began to move, and slowly pull away
belching out steam and blowing black smoke, just as if to say,
I am going now, but remember for sure, I'll be back some day;
So you kids had better find yourselves, Another place to play!

                                               --les peoples

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MrGee commented on The Coal Steam Locomotive

07-15-2009

The poem has excellent rythmn.and I like the aliteration in the verse that begins Huffing and Puffing. I notice a lack of the usage of metaphors in the poem however. I do believe this piece should get a high rating.

A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

satch’s Poems (21)

Title Comments
Title Comments
The Treehouse 3
Nightmares 1
Promises [ones you can believe] 1
Scratch my Itch 0
The blind Date 5
Awesome' 1
The Lake Walk 2
Loves Choice 3
The Coal Steam Locomotive 1
Mans' Metamorphosis 5
Story'oems 0
Nakedness 2
"Ragged Knees" 5
A Sad Reality 5
Harken 0
Our World Today 2
Miracles 7
"Lonely" 3
Flo 4
"Hey there" 6
"My Poem" 4