The Damsel's Demise (a grim gothic tale)


Poem Commentary

Poetry Survivor Entry - Week Three - March 2010 (Winner) Published in POB Bleed for a Cause

The Damsel's Demise (a grim gothic tale)

Hark! What is this I hear?  A poor Damsel in distress
"Take me to her quickly, my fiery steed!"
The Queen hasn't much time, she needs a virgin princess.
Before the Bell strikes Twelve ~ the Damsel must bleed!
So off into the night … I ride high on my steed.
To save the poor Damsel from certain demise.
She is under attack, and she begs and she pleads.
While men tear at her clothes ~ with lust in their eyes!

I arrive just in time  - Her virtue remains pure.
With thy mace and thy sword I fight to the death.
I help her to safety, her life I reassure.
She hugs me and thanks me ~ while catching her breath!
I smile and I tell her that she'll be safe for now.
To the Castle I will bring her to reside.
The Queen will be happy to see her, and allow,
Her to be a princess ~ at least for tonight!

~ ~ ~
So, it’s off to the castle - with a crack of the whip,
There’s no time to waste ~ We must arrive quick!
~ ~ ~

The Castle of Blood sits high on the hill.
Once filled with laughter now only with shrills.
The screams of torment, of agony and disdain,
Are all that is heard ~ behind these walls of pain!
Where my Queen sits high upon her skeletal throne.
Made from sacrificial virgin skin - sewn to the bone.
She drinks of their blood from her skull-laden goblet.
While she grips with clawed hand ~ another poor Damsel's locket!

She drags her while screaming  - clinging on to dear life.
But there is no escaping the Blood Queen of the night.
The Queen quiets the Damsel with promises of greatness.
She will name her the princess ~ reassuring her salvation!
She makes her an offer, an enticing proposition.
Promises of riches far beyond imagination.
Then the poor Damsel gleams, the fear gone from her eyes.
The Queen flashes her fanged smile ~ the fool has fallen for her lies!

She then tells the Damsel she must disrobe, to put on her brand new dress.
Made of the purest and finest silk, for she must have only the best.
She says, "My Dear, you first must bathe, to cleanse your body and soul.
To rid yourself of being a slave ~ and to allow your new life to unfold!"
The Damsel is wildly ecstatic, so thankful for her new found good fortune ~
She starts splashing and laughing, and singing - lost in such joyful proportion!
The Queen then smiles her evil grin, for again her spell has worked.
So with razor sharp claws, she shreds and she rips ~
while the screaming Damsel wildly jerks!

~ ~ ~

As she finished sucking each drop of life and draining the Damsel's soul.
The Queen grew 100 years younger that night  ~
and The Castle of Blood, Bells tolled!
So fear ye! Fair Damsels in distress, because this Knight lives only to serve.
For my Queen desires your virgin blood ~
and I give her what she deserves!


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Olan01 commented on The Damsel's Demise (a grim gothic tale)


Wondered how Sarah Palin keeps her youthful looks, smile. I enjoy this fanciful yarn. Good job. Olan



Thanks Olan .. Ive always loved the Brothers Grimm and this was my apptempt to write in that style. So happy you enjoyed! :) Thanks! Ken

Ming commented on The Damsel's Demise (a grim gothic tale)


What a Gothic tale - of Chivalry, Rescue, Innocence, Blood, Betrayal and Release. . My kinda dark, sordid poetry. . I love this stuff . . -Ming



lol! Thanks Ming! Just a little bit of Brothers Grim thrown into this one :) I'm happy you enjoyed! :) Ken

Rhymer commented on The Damsel's Demise (a grim gothic tale)


Never can find anything in your writes that is not perfection and they are always captivating to this reader. Another 10 from this humbled writer.



Rhymer! Thank you so much my friend! This is my own personal fave of my dark writes. I had so much fun creating the storyline. I am so happy you enjoy my different styles. I know I have scared off a few readers with some of my dark poems - but, I have my faithful followers and you my friend are right at the top. I appreciate your writes both dark and light - you are an amazing talent Pal! :) Thanks again! :) Ken

stellar commented on The Damsel's Demise (a grim gothic tale)


Knight...I seek it in your page and I really wonder why your gothic collection is gone...but now i know you've submit it at monthly contest...I really miss this one...^_^ v



lol! Stellar - I would never delete this from my works! :) It's my favorite gothic tale! :) Ya, any poem entered into Poetry Survivor had to be removed from our pages. Sorry, I made ya search for it. I promise, I won't remove it again! :) Thanks for being such a good friend and avid reader and commentator. I really appreciate it more than you know. :) Ken

Teardrops commented on The Damsel's Demise (a grim gothic tale)


Well little red ridding hood its not . Knight my firend its a great story . This would make a great movie its flows that good . I love it from beginning to end great write Marie



lol! Thanks Marie! No, it's definately not little red riding hood! :) Definately more like Brother's Grim style :) A more adult story for sure. Thanks again for the re-read and the wonderful comments! :) Ken

The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

knight4696’s Poems (104)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Suicide Jack 3
Mother 8
Full Moon At Half Moon Bay 4
December Mourning 5
Turbulance 10
The Birth Of The Black Knight (Prelude to The Damsel's Demise) 2
Members Only ... The Complete Six Part Series 3
Members Only .. Part Six "Dead Awake" The Conclusion 5
Members Only .. Part Five "dis-Member-m
Members Only .. Part Four "The Manifestation
Members Only .. Part Three "The Enticement" 11
Members Only .. Part Two "Membership Has It's Benefits" 15
Members Only .. Part One "The Grand Opening" 17
Labyrinth Of Lies 16
A Crazy Christmas 19
In A Child's Eyes 33
A Perfect Peace 22
Summer's End 18
Insomniac 22
What If? 19
The Widow's Web 25
The FairyTale Ending 17
CrAcKeD 18
The Castle's Keep 14
Into The Realm 15
Alone In The Dark 24
The Fraternity 16
Take My Hand If You Dare (Video) 18
The Possession 17
Demon Seed 21
Cries Of The Innocent 17
The Demon Dance 15
The Offering 13
Take My Hand If You Dare 13
Somewhere Within ... 13
Festival Of Frights 14
Serenity Severance 15
BloodStone Hotel 26
Sister Sin 24
A Cry In The Knight 23
As Darkness Calls . . . 18
WTF?! 28
The Monsters Of The Moat 10
The Damsel's Demise (a grim gothic tale) 5
The Awakening 8
Sunshine In The Rain 5
Path To Misery 18
Unholy Union ~ Part II 11
Emotional Inebriation 20
Ghost Writer 24
Nocturnal Emissions 16
You've Got Mail 28
Voices From Beyond The Door 22
Knight Dreams 25
Dead Silence 23
Beyond The Door ... 29
Damned If I Know ... 24
Captive 25
Sex With The X 42
Celestial Romance 28
In My Desperate Hour 27
On The Cliff's Edge 31
Maybe Tomorrow ... 29
Ride On 29
ALL GOD'S CHILDREN (A Christmas Song) 38
UNHOLY UNION ~ The Beginning 42
Blood Rain 49
My Broken Heart Bleeds 24
Oblivious 24
Coexistence 26
Haven't We Met Before? 19
Blank Page 87
Salted Wound 14
In A Blink Of An Eye 24
Under The Autumn Moon 21
Dirty Talk 21
The Thrones Of Mankind 12
Shake Ya Down!! 19
Save Me!! 17
Winter Witch 13
Forever - I Love You 10
Tuning Out 15
Fool In The Dark 15
Separate Stars 17
Another State Of Confusion 15
Desolation Of The Damned 17
Learning To Love 15
Forever Rockin'!! 10
Dawn's Coming! 12
It May All Be A Dream 12
Fountains Of Flame 12
Reflections Of Yesterday 6
It Depends!!! 9
OPEN WINDOWS " A Different Point Of View" 15
Ponder 23
Rainbows Of Tommorow 25