I AM 20 YEARS OLD AND IT FEELS AS IF THE WORLD HAS CRUSHED ME. MY MIND, MY SOUL, MY SPIRIT CRIES, SCREAMS, DIES BUT NO ONE SEES IT FOR I HIDE IT WITH A PAINTED ON SMILE AND ACT. WHEN THEY LOOK INTO MY EYES THEY FEEL MY PAIN, THEY SEE MY SORROW, THEY TASTE THE SALT OF MY TEARS. SO I AVOID EYE CONTACT, I HIDE MY FEELINGS DEEP WITHIN MYSELF SO I WOULD APPEAR TO EVERYONE AS IF EVERYTHING IS OK. THIS TIME I AM IN HAS ME STUCK IN A DAZE. I TRY TO SNAP OUT, WAKE UP, BUT EVERY TIME I TRY I GO DEEPER INTO THIS STATE OF CONFUSION, DEPRESSION, A STATE WHERE BEING USED BY SOMEONE DOES NOTHING TO ME BECAUSE I AM NUMB TO EMOTIONS. I GIVE MY BODY TO THIS BEING I ONCE LOVED TO ONLY WAIT TIL HE'S GONE TO CRY AND WONDER WHY I CAN'T STOP GOING BACK TO HIM. WHY CAN'T I LET HIM GO? THE HURT AND PAIN, THE WAY I'M TREATED ONLY REFLECTS TO ME AS A MIRROR OF MY LIFE TO LET HIM GO. AM I TOO WEAK? OR AM I STILL IN LOVE?NO!NO!NO!NOT AGAIN!STUPID THOUGHTS PREVENTING ME FROM ESCAPING TO HAPPINESS.THIS ONE BEING, THIS ONE MAN THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY EVERY TIME I THINK OF HIM, EVERY TIME I HEAR HIS VOICE. I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I CAN SPEND MINUTES, HOURS, DAYS MONTHS, YEARS, LIFE WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL BEING.I'VE FALLEN SO DEEP IN LOVE THAT I CAN'T LET GO, I WON'T LET GO, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY BUT I DON'T WANT TO. THIS ERA, THIS STATE MAKES ME JOYFUL WITHOUT THE TEARS, HEARTACHE, DEPRESSION, AND ACTS OF BETRAYAL, THIS ERA OF LOVE, THE ERA OF ME.