the fortunate one(s)

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  • Life

    Poem Commentary

    this is kind of long... sorry... and mostly unstructured... the things that rhyme where put in to place to help keep some sort of flow to this... the rest of it is basically rambling... i know peices that are this long are hard to read sometimes but please try to finish this... the ending is worth i promise

    the fortunate one(s)

    the crowd cheers as the team takes the field...screaming and clapping the sound almost deafening... fireworks explode in the air... pop... bang... pow... and rain down like rainbows of fire...the world only exists right here...this place at this time with the crowd in unison a voice raises as one... the doors are closed tight... the roof zipped up... the air is balmy with the energy of the fans... the anticipations of the day is overwhelming... fathers stand with their sons... smiling and waiting as their favorite player to runs across the field to the roaring of his introduction... vibrant colors fill the world... palm palms shake... only the game is at stake... the pride of the team... win or lose they all get paid...

    friends tip $8 dollar beers to eachother... spilling them on the heads and the shoulders of those in the seats just below... $6 buys a soda... $4 more some popcorn... another $5 might get you some nachos (though jalapenos will be an extra $.50)... and the tickets... oh yeah the tickets... $$$.$$ was the price just to get you in... before that $10 to leave your car in the parking lot... the atmosphere... is electric in here... the game almost secondary to the solidarity of the crowd... the real world disappears... the windows painted over by the denial of the blind... outside life continues... the world goes on... oh no time did not stop because you had a game today... its easy to see it that way... but the world goes on...

    in the shadow of the excitement... in the darkness of reality... someone moves about... hearing the muffled sounds of the crowd protected by the security of thier blinded eyes... housed by bricks and morter... their piece of mind comes from security guards at the doors and walking in the corridors of their sanctuary... the fortunate ones see with tunnel vision and ignorance to what lies beneath... in the parking lot littered with $10 parking spots... cars... suvs... a few motorhomes sit lifeless... awaiting the return of thier drivers... hoping to take them home safely after they have indulged in too many $8 beers... among the depths of the overpriced american and imported sports cars... the gas guzzling non-environmental suvs... a wounded soul stumbles about... cast out... his life has fallen to pieces... once he had dreams... hopes... ambitions... he wanted to be somebody... do something... now he just wants to eat... he just wants to be able to sleep without the relentless sounds of traffic that flows over his head as he lays under cardboard just below the exit ramp that the fortunate ones took before the world disappeared into the distant blur of their favorite pastime...


    he passes by them as they exit the building... their faces still plastered with the smiles and the excitement of the game... dirty... he has no pride left... hunger and desperation have seen to that... he asks if anyone has any spare change... he just wants to eat... his thirst is immeasurable... he waves off the looks of disgust... he is human too... just not as fortunate as you... young men pat their pockets and shrug as to say they dont have anything to spare... (huh... too many $8 beers today)... women look at their friends... knowing if they dont make eye contact... then there is really no acknowledgement and they can pretend not to notice... the parking lot clears... the cars have taken their drivers home... littered remnants of snacks... drinks... food containers strewn about... the debri becomes a smorgasbord... the waste left behind by the fortunate ones... as he rummages through what is so easily discarded by others... a slight smile graces is face... nearly a smirk as he realizes on sundays he is the fortunate one...

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    Rhymer commented on the fortunate one(s)

    05-01-2010

    Enlightening read to some I believe. Well thought out and you make some sad but all to true statements..........10

    Dano

    05/01/2010

    thanks for commenting rhymer

    stefy commented on the fortunate one(s)

    04-30-2010

    Interesting style.It is unusual......really nice and expressive...

    Dano

    05/01/2010

    thanks for taking the time to read and comment

    MarionYost commented on the fortunate one(s)

    04-29-2010

    I live in SOUTH CAROLINA (The bible belt) where EVERYONE'S a "Christian".. million dollar church buildings on every corner and for every church there's 10 homeless people but, No one gives a shit. all the good CHRISTIANS.. Makes me fucking sick. Great point, great poem buddy ;) All the best -Marion-

    Dano

    04/29/2010

    its all about the money and sweeping the undesirables under the rug... out of sight out of mind... i agree with your comment completly... thank you for for taking the time to read and comment...

    MindNumbing commented on the fortunate one(s)

    04-29-2010

    Sadly, this is so true. Indianapolis has so much revenue wrapped up in our sporting teams and the venues that host the events, yet there are people who have to reach into garbage cans to find dinner on nearly every street corner downtown. If half this city had a fraction of the compassion that you've shown with this piece, we could all sleep a little better at night knowing that we've done our part to help where we can. Nicely written, btw :) ♥

    Dano

    04/29/2010

    we have a $600,000 football stadium in downtown indianapolis and our missions are over crowded every night with homeless people who need some place to stay... but we are building a world class city that can compete with other city and on the surface we look good but the under belly that no one wants to pay attention to still looms in our streets... damn i am still rambling...

    thecross commented on the fortunate one(s)

    04-29-2010

    A relatable story for anyone who has been to a sporting event in Buffalo there is a guy that goes around the parking lot with a shopping cart collecting the bottles and cans.

    Dano

    04/29/2010

    how many millions of dollars are generated by professional sporting events in buffalo... probly enough to help out some guy collecting cans

    thecross

    04/29/2010

    Probably a good amount but no wheres near as much as other football franchises because I believe two of Buffalo's home games now are played in Toronto and a real possibility of Buffalo bills leaving N.Y. for Canada. There is a lot of poverty in New York due to the number of people so franchises in smaller states could probably do a lot more and it would be more noticable.

    The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

    Dano’s Poems (150)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    from an angels view 19
    searching the darkness 10
    a letter from santa 14
    thanksgiving (acrostic) 12
    the depth of... 11
    ive wished 7
    absentee 12
    this is... 13
    a journey into the dark 7
    the cold of november 14
    your voice 12
    the yin to the yang 14
    twisted 9
    autumn 14
    i think it happened again 11
    luna~tic 19
    the darkness 13
    a blinding eclipse 16
    the universe... 18
    the wind of sorrow 14
    my sorrow weeps 16
    where but the dark... 12
    immortal kiss 47
    in a darkened room 17
    our mother 7
    within these flames 12
    nocturnal (acrostic) classic rock 7
    behind wrought iron bars 25
    what i write (part 2) 8
    today 17
    the world in grey 6
    the reality of... 5
    in the shadow of a mountain 6
    nothing will ever be the same 10
    of cemetary dreams (and nightmare scapes) 12
    next to a bed... 18
    but... 15
    at a funeral 12
    seventeen (acrostic) 11
    the fortunate one(s) 7
    what did i do... 24
    ashes to dust 45
    dancing in the moonlight 14
    disempowering the pain 14
    the butterfly 10
    what i write 14
    sorry (i killed the after glow) 11
    the humidity rises (an erotic tale) 9
    pieces of light 8
    the sad pumpkin &... 9
    my face 12
    for a long time... 14
    (an explination of) distractions 6
    tell me... 6
    the charelston cookie tin 9
    silent self destruction 8
    exposed 13
    the means of the day (a true valentines poem) 2
    a poem about nothing... 8
    blood bleeds black 7
    dissecting myself 3
    i will be just fine 3
    the stacking of bricks 3
    the complexities of depression... 4
    spirits & ghosts 3
    **random chaos** 2
    bloodlust 3
    ...somethings missing... 2
    15 years... 3
    beauty sleeps entombed (parts 1 & 2) 3
    **untitled** 2
    the overstuffed closet 3
    the candy dish 2
    anxiety speaks 2
    **untitled** 2
    myself and the light 6
    the fog 2
    fire and tears 3
    cerebral meltdown 3
    sometimes i wish... 1
    drawing strength from a starr... 2
    disappointmen
    t...
    1
    **untitled** 1
    the flower garden 3
    nature... 1
    reaching out 2
    the dark and the light... 1
    the insistent demon 2
    sorry... 3
    forgive me lover... (parts 1 & 2) 2
    im so sorry... 3
    **no title... just random thoughts** 1
    to eternity... 2
    winter wind whips... 1
    tired 2
    lucid dream 1
    the rains came... 2
    the mourning light 1
    another jagged pill 1
    i just cant... 1
    entitlement?!
    ?!?
    1
    entitlement!!
    !!
    1
    burning within 4
    inside of me 1
    projected pain 1
    the night... the dakness & the truth? 1
    panic 2
    the mourning fog 1
    when the fires burn 1
    through the night 1
    shadow casts 0
    a mournful rain 1
    i cant protect me 2
    my comfort place 0
    an echo shifts 1
    the monster 2
    welcome to my life 0
    the past is alive... 1
    ... 1
    standing on the edge 2
    my smile... 1
    anxiety 2
    my reality 0
    another view... 0
    untitled... 0
    jagged pill 2
    in the dark 1
    what to do 1
    how can i... 1
    life... 3
    a crust of pain 1
    keeping me weak... 2
    my dark world 3
    another night of wondering 2
    in the attic 4
    i hold most dear 2
    the me inside of me 2
    another day 1
    dreamed in a dream 2
    a year in the life (dealing with death) 1
    i look... 1
    where my secrets are kept 1
    a mouthful of words 2
    i will not fear (when my eyes are blind) 2
    i am aware (i'm already dead) 7
    standing in the silence of my own shadow... 3
    a blinding dark 1
    growing pain 3
    the longest of nights 5
    ... 7