The Grabber

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  • Whimsical

    The Grabber

     The Grabber

    Baby where's that grabber
    Uhh..what grabber...say me
    Oh you know...my picker upper...say you
    You know River Dove...what I use in the yard
    Ohh...say me...hmm...that thing
    Ahh Ohh...River Dove? What did you do...say you
    Well Ooopsney...say me
    I sat down and I didn't see it there
    And it grabbed me and I thought it was one of
    Them there big ole pinchin bugs cause it hurt
    And I tried and tried to free up my butt cheek
    But the harder I tried, the tighter it pinched.
    Then the door bell rang, so I made my way
    To the door with a big ole grab pole swayin
    Back and forth from my butt, I swear it looked
    Like I had a big ole tail, and the more I walked
    The tighter that thing pinched, so I was walkin
    Pretty funny, my knees were knocked, my left
    Hip stuck way over to the side, and I grabbed my
    Boobs for support cause it hurt too much to grab
    My butt...well I finally made it to the door and
    lo and behold it was Thelma...the preachers wife.
    She said oh my River Dove you don't look well today.
    I said that's cause I have a grabber stuck to my butt Ma'am
    Ohh my...say her and she tried and tried to free me up
    But Ooopsney the more she tried the tighter the
    Thing got and it hurt. So then she went lookin for
    Your tools, she grabbed the crowbar and a pair
    Channel locks, and a hammer. Well when I saw
    Her comin at me with all them tools I went runnin.
    Thing is...she ran after me and I ran out the door
    And she followed. I was runnin with all my might
    Down the street and you know Ooopsney...that
    Grabber fell right off but it bounced and went
    Down a manhole and I heard someone scream
    Down there and I looked back at the preacher's
    Wife and she was being arrested for chasin me
    With all them tools. But my butt sure felt a lot better
    And later the preacher got the Mrs out of jail, and when
    She and I told him the story...he had the same
    Look on his face that you have on yours Ooopsney
    Only he rubbed his forehead and said Lord have mercy
    So that's what happened to your grabber Ooopsney...
    Those things are dangerous, and I have a big
    Ole bruise.......Look....see?
    Yeah...I see...say you
    I love you Ooopsney...but no more grabbers...ok?
    Yeah...Ok...I love you too River Dove

    By Rita Kay Webb

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    StandingBear commented on The Grabber

    12-17-2010

    Outstanding creativity, ebbing and flowing gently as the waves of the sea recede back into the sea. On a hilarious note, there simply isn't a better comedic series available to read and enjoy on OP..*say you*, yeah! Bear Bear
    Reply to Comment

    spbsdude commented on The Grabber

    11-24-2010

    This is so hilarious that it made me chuckle. I love your characters River Dove and Ooopsney. They are adorable. Nice job.
    Reply to Comment

    koolmom0

    11/24/2010

    LOL Thank you so much I'm glad you enjoy them :) Rita

    ImStillHere commented on The Grabber

    11-22-2010

    hahahaha thats so cute :) i think ill put this one under "favs" ~Audrey
    Reply to Comment

    gogant commented on The Grabber

    11-22-2010

    It's new and interesting, for sure. Kind of like a comical crazy dream, with Charlie Brown and Alice (in wonderland) mixing it up. Very good, Rita.......................................................gogant
    Reply to Comment

    julieannetx commented on The Grabber

    11-22-2010

    I was picturing the whole scenario! Good laugh...humor needed! Thanks!
    Reply to Comment

    koolmom0

    11/22/2010

    Thank you again Julie, I have several of these written, I am hoping to write them as cartoons someday. :) Rita

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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