The Moon On A String

6 Comments

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  • Emotional
    • Mayuna
    • Anata wa Naraku no hana ja nai ~ You are not a flower of Hell

    Poem Commentary

    Who has ever wished for the moon on a string? Well let me say this dear reader; don't. Nothing is ever what it seems.

    The Moon On A String
    I sought to hold in my hand the light of the moon
    Tightly the rope was tied to a loop
    The lasso swung above my head
    A few vain attempts before it was caught
    With all of my strength and might I pulled
    Until at long last the moon was in my hands
    Much to my dismay there was no light at all
    It was nothing more than a hunk of rock
    Again with all my strength and all my might I hurled it back into the sky
    However it fell back to earth with a crashing sound
    Creating a crater in the ground 
    At my feet where it fell
    Now I am stuck with a hunk of rock that really is not very important at all
    A wistful memory now long past of how the moon enchanted me 

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    danmartyjake1 commented on The Moon On A String

    01-13-2011

    This is a great exercise in writing and explaining how sometimes we want things that are seemingly fabulous, but then when you get it, it doesn't appear to be what you thought it was, at all. Great expression and use of the space in words...
    Reply to Comment

    MindNumbing commented on The Moon On A String

    01-11-2011

    This is wonderfully written, Mayuna. The metaphors are fantastic, and the underlying message is clear and should be heeded by all. Nicely done :)
    Reply to Comment

    gogant commented on The Moon On A String

    01-08-2011

    You have given us a sample of too much wanted, too soon gone. You have created a wonderful poem with your romantic poetry. It is very special................................................................gogant
    Reply to Comment

    thecross commented on The Moon On A String

    01-07-2011

    creative and imaginative write, well done your imagery was wonderful
    Reply to Comment

    BrokenHeart2009 commented on The Moon On A String

    01-07-2011

    I like the metaphoric imagery you used, I see the moon as something precious and wanted then taken only to realize it was what not what it had appeared, Wonderfully done:)
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

    Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

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