The Noose

6 Comments

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  • Dark Poetry

    The Noose

     Tied into her darkest thoughts, nestled deep within
    tortured alleys lost in time, imprisoing the unforgiven
    cloudiest days filled of rain, blood the sky will weep
    flooding the souls of no remorse, noone to hear a peep
    Chained unto, the one you owe, key was lost again
    traitors living with the sins, of anger unbending
    Fickle minds in fickle times, friend youve turned to foe
    Drag your chains heavily, drag them with no hope

    Tied into her sickest smile, red posion on her lips
    decrepit rooms of decrepit few, whos object is to repent
    again and again, repent your sins
    crawling at her feet
    grab the rope around your neck
    hang yourself for her please

    Tied into her thoughts, no cost, enough is never enough
    revenge carefully dwelled upon, serving up misery for the lot
    when in unlucky times, all the while, begging at her feet
    her twist in the end, is its never enough to forgive
    but theres no retreat



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    alreedus commented on The Noose

    02-10-2010

    Nice rhythm and construction along with the vision. I can see the images you write. -Alamn
    Reply to Comment

    kage commented on The Noose

    02-04-2010

    well this is a great work i think, it is well written and flows well tells a good story i like it
    Reply to Comment

    Minerva22 commented on The Noose

    02-03-2010

    I really was feeling this piece. Loved the repetition in the line decrepit rooms for decrepit few, good example of kinda exploiting the definition of a word in the same sentence. "Drag your chains heavily, drag them with no hope". But personally I would get rid of the line before that, because I don't think you really need it. You've made your statement boldly with the last line to end the stanza. But again an excellent work.
    Reply to Comment

    bforibus commented on The Noose

    02-03-2010

    to be so hell bent on the death of someone, that it will satisfy another person. is too much to experience mentally. i love the conflict that was placed in this poem. great job ike
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    redbloodink commented on The Noose

    02-02-2010

    this was powerful.... good flow....... red....................
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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