Dark Psycho

22 Comments

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  • Dark

    Poem Commentary

    "Dark" requested that I put my dark version on the site.  I didn't like going there with this poem.  My conscience originally prevented me from doing this, but when I saw the consequences of the actions it allowed me to go there.

    In no way do I promote violence against women or anybody else.

    Dark Psycho

    She saunters down the dark, dreary lane.

    If I could only give her a taste of my pain.

    No nagging conscience to try to avoid.

    You may call me crazy.  A case for Freud.

     

    Having a need to quench my desire

    Behind cold eyes all my senses on fire.

    A sharp razor eased from my coat pocket.

    My body aches, nobody to stop it.

     

    My hand is steady I have no remorse.  

    She will be just another bride corpse.

    Hearing the heels of her hip boots clack,

    My pace surges as I close the gap.

     

    Almost upon her,  her pulse quickens.

    Smell of sex and sweet perfume thickens.

    Hearing soft gasps I am getting my kicks.

    She is unaware I am now on her six.

     

    My hand over her mouth she then cries.

    Opened up those big, luscious brown thighs.

    I laughingly grin and find wetness delight.

    Her eyes look at me with horror and fright.

     

    Begin to cut off a nipple on her left breast.

    My blade carves a hole in her soft flesh.

    Red fluid running down her she bleeds.

    Premature ejaculation my dripping seeds.

     

    She jerked free allowing a shrilling scream.

    The coppers in blue arrive on the scene.

    Police shouting and guns cocking the sound.

    They tackle me and cuff me on the ground.

     

    The jury said guilty on all twelve counts.

    No one will ever know the total amount.

    Could not hack being the prison whore bitch.

    Death at my own hand.  No soul, just black pitch.

    Poem Comments

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    Marsink commented on Dark Psycho

    05-09-2010

    For me, it may be just too much intimate detail...but that does not detract from your formidable sense of urgency and imagery! (I am keyed into your introduction, so that this is interpreted as the perpetrators' mindset, and not your own) Dark Delivery!!

    MootPoint

    05/12/2010

    Psychopath is my first (less detailed) version. I was looking for horror at the time. I was shooting for a guy with no conscience.

    BringMeBullets commented on Dark Psycho

    02-24-2010

    Great write! I like the images that come flowing into my head after the last line makes it all come together as one amazing piece. You are very talented. Keep doing what you're doing. :) A ten from me.

    MootPoint

    02/24/2010

    Thanks for all your comments. Try reading "They Screech" It's one of my favorites. :)

    LuluKitty commented on Dark Psycho

    01-14-2010

    definitely think the girl from my poem and your guy would hit it off lol

    Rhymer commented on Dark Psycho

    12-05-2009

    WOW! YOU HAD ME FROM THE FIRST LINE. SORT OF REMINDS ME OF JACK THE RIPPER. NICE WRITE 10 FROM ME.

    MootPoint

    12/09/2009

    Thanks, it is a little inspired by James Patterson's Cross.

    fathermadness commented on Dark Psycho

    12-04-2009

    man i loved it good job i love dark things and things off the beatin path. keep it up

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

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