The Ugly Man.

6 Comments

The Ugly Man.

 

He peered out from an open crack in the blind.

The sunlight came in too abruptly.

It served as a constant, daily, irritating reminder of the ever-present

great out-doors.

"People",he sang to himself softly,

"people who love people, are the luckiest people".

He punctuated the end of his verse with a resounding"pong",

as he pulled the wadding from his gun barrel.

It was now clean.

He was now ready.

"where oh where has my baby gone?”,

he licked the tears and snot from his upper lip.

Still singing with his teeth tightly clenched, softly ,

“…the lord took her away from me".

He began to name each and every round as he locked it firmly into his clip.

He wanted to look nice,

for when they found him.

Sweating, hot,

sitting on the floor,

poised with his new found friends,

back against the wall.

He picked up the broken cheap acrylic hand mirror.

A lump formed in his throat.

The corners of his mouth grew heavy.

He began to cry.

He'd found the mirror in the school yard.

He kept it.

It was dear to him.

Every time he looked into it,

through the filth,

through cracks,

through his actual distorted reflection into some seperate perception,

he would somehow find comfort.

There was to him,

now,

no other way to alter the reflections his past had generated.

Cradling the gun in his arms,

gazing through his image,

he combed back his greasy black hair,

and wiped away the slobber of his sorrows.

Gently,

he placed the mirror on the floor.

He slams his head back against the wall.

"There's a place for me,"

his voice trembled,

"A very special place for me”,

he pulls closed the crack in the blind,

"…close my eyes and I'm halfway...",

  BLAM!,

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simoneaugustus commented on The Ugly Man.

03-15-2010

Profound and powerful. So few words and yet they evoke such an intense emotional response. You are very talented and I thank you for sharing your poems. So glad I stumbled across your work!

captaininsight

07/10/2010

As am I...

Stryx commented on The Ugly Man.

11-29-2009

One discovers a deep emotional commitment to this sad one who wishes to bring finality to his life - a good write.

captaininsight

11/29/2009

Again , thank you for your read. Ouch huh?

cmlestrade commented on The Ugly Man.

08-29-2009

Every poem is a story in itself. I am one of those sing song poets, but you, you can really knock em dead. Great theme, great meter, in a word great.

captaininsight

08/29/2009

Your meter will change when you're ready to change it. I have a sing song (pentameter) or Dr,Seuss mode as well. Sometimes it takes a deliberate effort to brake away from it. I will be readinf=g you later , thanks again ..oh check out "Scramled Eggs" , talk about weird meter .

captaininsight

08/29/2009

wow thank you so much.

Charlie23 commented on The Ugly Man.

08-23-2009

Wow! Had my attention all the way through. That being said, I have no idea why I was surprised by the ending! Great Write!

captaininsight

08/26/2009

Thank you Charlie,for reading it and taking time to comment. Im delighted you were surprised.

connsk8 commented on The Ugly Man.

08-18-2009

I wonder who his new found friends are against the wall poised with him, I think you did a great job of getting into the mind of one so tortured but I'm really getting tired of this all too familiar scene. I feel for the tortured soul but we falied him a long time ago and continue to. Why do our "kids" still get to this point of no return? Why hasn't someone noticed long before now before it got to this point? That is my frustration, not your work, your work did incredible justice to an all too familiar occurance...

captaininsight

08/19/2009

Thank You Connsk8 ; His "friends are the bullets. I still haven't determined if he is ending his own life or others. I agree entirely with your opinion...love is the answer.

To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

captaininsight’s Poems (21)

Title Comments
Title Comments
THE PIRATES CALL! 4
I will Visit You Tonight. 12
Starlings Song 7
A Quick Poem. 5
Just A Point… 7
I Have Written. 6
Parking Lot Kisses. 7
Lillie's Blue 3
Say Goodbye. 3
Pretty Picture. 7
The Ugly Man. 6
RELIGION'S KILLIN PEOPLE! 13
Mortimer's Seed 7
Ode to Tenderpoison 4
SPEW 11
leave me alone 3
My Blood Runs In The Sand 5
Let Me Keep On Loving You 4
"SCRAMBLED EGGS" 13
My Eyes Have Seen Now. 8
Each Time 8