Untitled Breaths...

11 Comments

Tags:
  • My Feelings
    • ,
  • Memories
    • ,
  • Loss
    • ,
  • Sadness
    • Altair
    • Don't read me, I am not that good.......

    Poem Commentary

    Must be read as if a song, there is a rhythm within the context of this expression, can you find it? One hint, it switches but remains much the same... bum..bum bum...bum bum... Just take your time in reading and perhaps you will find what you seek... good luck

    Untitled Breaths...
    Don't...disturb...the beast...
    Tempermental goat...to sins...again I'm treading so soft...
    and...lightly compromising...mine...will I end?



    Death...upon...the wind
    Sight so goes...again...the sense I'm dreading so soft...
    and...lightly compromise what...mind...will I end?



    I am...I will...some don't...long for...Will I...lay down...play dead...play your tune..In the midnight locked, down, and terrified...You're a deer in the headlights, shot down and glorified. When push...comes to pull...comes to shove...comes to step around...this self..destructive dance..that never would have managed..in mine... prose...nigh...roar aloud...here...mine...will I end?



    Will I...lay down...some don't...long for...
    Will I...lay down...play dead...play this...
    Beat down...gun shy...martyre...there fold...
    I prosed...I roared...I am...I will.....


    Poem Comments

    (11)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    dreamscape commented on Untitled Breaths...

    04-23-2010

    Holy crap Altair, what a lovely yet disturbingly interesting piece you created here. I love the title first off, and the way the song moves in varied directions in breaths that tend to allow the reader to fill in the lines of what seems random thoughts, but it all falls together when you relate it verse to verse. Damn you are a genius, i do not think I can say it enough my friend. Hugs =)
    Reply to Comment

    Altair

    04/24/2010

    everyone seems to love the title, I do as well so this is favored. I thank you so much for commenting on my work and putting it in such high regard...much appreciated coming from a poet such as yourself...you understood this piece so well

    SuperChick76 commented on Untitled Breaths...

    04-22-2010

    Nice... The beat of the song, if I got it right, was very strong and goes wonderfully with the lyrics. This is so different than your usually expressions, I truly enjoyed the change. :) Beautifully written, dear. Loved it.
    Reply to Comment

    Altair

    04/22/2010

    I would trust you got it right love, it is quite different in flow opposed to my work, but it was so much fun to write and my heart lead its formation, thanks prodigy

    knight4696 commented on Untitled Breaths...

    04-18-2010

    Altair my friend .... This is definately one of your best writes. With or without it's song-like rhythms, it is a deep metaphorical inner-spirit conflict that I relate to all too well. A Dark look into the soul of the poet and the battles that persist within. A metaphorical masterpiece indeed! :) Awesome job! :) Ken
    Reply to Comment

    Altair

    04/18/2010

    Good to see you my friend, yes I truly love this one myself, I felt it one morning as I awoke to my heart beating frantically at times and slow and pounding at others....thanks my friend

    SavVySam commented on Untitled Breaths...

    04-18-2010

    You create interesting rhythms in this original piece, I am sensing conflict being worked out within these lines...choices being made with the emotions of both possible outcomes in clear view...Soul decisions...all to a heartbeat...
    Reply to Comment

    Altair

    04/18/2010

    wow save, you hit the nail on the head truly in deciphering this expression, I am very impressed, though not surprised for you are a venturing relic in yourself. thank you

    ApaqRasgirl commented on Untitled Breaths...

    04-17-2010

    that was great--I had to read it several times then I began to see into the mind of the poet--your words were powerful and the title fits it so well. thanks for sharing love Asha
    Reply to Comment

    Altair

    04/17/2010

    thank you asha, your comment is much appreciated...

    Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    Altair’s Poems (53)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    ?....? 0 05/25/2020
    The Builder refused 0 11/30/2018
    To be my most recent thought 1 11/17/2018
    I've Said enough to Know 2 08/10/2018
    I've Said Enough to Mean 2 06/27/2018
    Just because I like Trees 2 09/22/2017
    Contemptuous Nonchalance 2 12/01/2013
    Unearthly Manifest... 2 08/21/2013
    Like Water for Dark Chocolate.... 2 03/31/2013
    Impenitent Soliloquy 3 03/29/2013
    Figurative Meadow... 1 03/18/2013
    Windows 1 02/28/2013
    In jam meant to be... 2 02/08/2013
    Upon My "Death" 5 01/23/2013
    The Butterfly Effect Set … 4 01/18/2013
    The Quiet Storm Enters A Room... 2 09/20/2011
    The Diamond Age of Yesternight..
    .    		 2 08/19/2011
    A Choir of Angels are We in Poetry.... 10 12/01/2010
    Dear Love, by the time you manifest this poem, you'll be gone..... 10 11/04/2010
    On Hallows Eve, Hollow grief as Death I Foresee......
    .    		 12 10/22/2010
    From blood, death darkens to stone's manifest.....
    .    		 9 10/13/2010
    The Forest is a Journey In my Darkness complete.... 10 09/07/2010
    The Wrath of My Titan Enlightenment
    ...........    		 7 09/05/2010
    Unisyghtcles.
    ..whatever that is...    		 9 08/31/2010
    Failure of my trinity...lea
    ked was in sanity.    		 4 08/30/2010
    A soul is loss....seeks an endless remorse.. 10 08/23/2010
    Madness exist in her gift..... 7 07/15/2010
    The London Show at the Tate's Estate.......
    .Part two adieu    		 9 06/07/2010
    The London Show at the Tate's Estate.......
    .    		 11 06/07/2010
    I'm Back.... 7 06/05/2010
    A Warped View of My Inner Sanctum...... 4 06/04/2010
    What do I see? What do you believe? 9 05/03/2010
    Lacking in Madness...... 14 05/01/2010
    Elemental portance in alchemic relevance.. 9 04/30/2010
    The Calamity of Conformity...
    ....    		 13 04/24/2010
    The Vicarious Rues..... 6 04/24/2010
    Within this Quill, manifest on the Canvas....Art 8 04/22/2010
    A Voiding thought is all I sought.... 4 04/22/2010
    Pushing away the loving Void....... 10 04/19/2010
    Vessels of ash, Souls thus passed... 4 04/18/2010
    The Infinite battle from Night to Light....... 5 04/17/2010
    Trick or treat in the Streets of hollowed teens..... 5 04/15/2010
    Untitled Breaths... 11 04/14/2010
    Kharon was the fairest of guides to my fruition.....
    .    		 16 04/13/2010
    The inevitable of lovers in dreams.... 5 04/08/2010
    If I could trap you in my vigil.... 3 04/07/2010
    I emit my lah... 2 04/06/2010
    An instant revelation of… 7 04/04/2010
    The crossroads of..... 3 04/04/2010
    How things change in a moment..... 4 04/03/2010
    How Angels and Human Inclinations are One...... 5 04/03/2010
    Frailty begets Strength...C'
    est la vie...    		 5 04/02/2010
    The conquest..... 11 04/02/2010
    Top of Page