W- Five

9 Comments

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  • Philosophy

    Poem Commentary

    It needs a little fine tuning. Looks like a reader might trip over the second verse. It's a little too cutsie. I'll change it later.

    W- Five

    W- Five

    What is there in need of being said ...
    And words within the ink which flows
    To warrent being read?

    What's the issue facing those who care?
    To write a work, is it sword play
    Just to take a reader there?

    Where's the hall of wisdom or the shed?
    Do it's pillars plum the depths of earth
    Or live only in our head?

    When do resolutions cease to come?
    With the problems now reserved for us
    Or those faced by Dad and Mom?

    Why are there acceptions to the rule?
    Read the silence from a patient man
    And see brilliance or a fool.

    Why can't we open everything unknown?
    Like kids beneath a Christmas tree
    We'd embrace whatever's shown.

    But suns will set and birds will fly
    And rivers flow with tears we cry
    And joy be gleaned from heaven's sky
    But in essence it's a loan.

    Poem Comments

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    lsabeth commented on W- Five

    02-27-2010

    The ryhmn seems forced. Also, the use of the conjunctions twice at the end of the poem is too repetitive.

    NevillePark

    02/28/2010

    Thank you for your forthright appraisal. Not often do we get such honesty. I've taken it into consideration. The rhythm might appear forced. It's certainly not as tight as some of written. If we had the option to recite on an mp3 you could get a picture of how I see it. As a singer/songwriter I sometimes look at other peoples lyrics and squint or shake my head trying to figure out how in the world they managed to fit a workable cadence into an implausible structure (with the way I see it).So I go to Youtube and low and behold it works for them. The ending is something I feel comfortable about probably more than the rhythm. The rest of the verses were part of the process in working up to a door slamming finish.

    NevillePark commented on W- Five

    02-11-2010

    Sometimes you just get REAL moments on this journey. I was up north helping out my friends on a farm yesterday and was brought to a halt by one of God's wonders. The sun was doing it's thing out side. Now I gotta believe someone has an iron-clad scientific explanation for why frost appears on cold windows but it's the creativity I saw in the patterns. If a discerning couple were to have a designer put up a frosted glass piece with intricate glass etchings, you'd expect them to have payed thousands for it. It was given to me to admire for free. God could have designed the condensation/freeze process to have a simple glaze without the embellishments. But ...Nothing boring in nature. Then I got the revelation that God wanted to give us something beautiful to look at, is why. In Genesis it says and God created the heavens- - - (galaxies) as a backdrop to everyday life. For old Aunt Mable and Uncle Clifford to sight in the swing hammock and enjoy the cool summer evening sky. Words DO have power as we know. Sometimes they act like a burp that needs to come out - in the case of a poet or novelist.

    ginga commented on W- Five

    02-10-2010

    neville, An interesting message that gives one pause to ponder why the written word is so mesmerizing. I enjoyed those 3 linestanzas wrapped up in a 4 line conclusion. Cool! ginga

    NevillePark

    02/11/2010

    I just left a comment to KLF a second ago. She said (I'm paraphrasing), the experience of having questions is in itself a primary incentive and necessity which makes life's journey... un-boring (if you will).

    KLF commented on W- Five

    02-10-2010

    Neville, I enjoyed the reading and the flow of your questions. I especially like how you ended the poem or more or less the response. Some answers we will never know and it was meant to be so. But, the essence or experience of some things is someitmes better than knowing why.

    NevillePark

    02/11/2010

    You got it Karon! That puts it in a nutshell. The wonder of Gods creation is an eternal one. Why he made a bumble bee fly or a platypus duck. You can search for the answer but be clean out of luck.

    danmartyjake1 commented on W- Five

    09-07-2009

    I love the questions...why can't we open everything unknown... embrace whatever's shown. That sound of acceptance rings...on and on.

    NevillePark

    09/08/2009

    Yes and, that's some legitimate pondering here actually. However I do believe the more we know - (without the proper tools to process it all- the more we'd tend to mess up in this delicately balanced world of ours.DPlease don't ask me to explain - just file it under ... God should always know more than we do - he's got the blueprints to it all.

    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

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