You cried for years just to be heard.
You kept all emotions inside until
hell broke loose. You swore up and
down that your anger is fix till it
blows up in your face. You tell
others your fine but you're not.
You prove to be at your best. The
pictures seem so real. For that
moment everything fits. Then the
papers come threaten lost of
parenteral rights for both.
Reality kicks in. You cry all
night and write the best poem.
You talk to people for support.
You pray with your godmother.
You sound like your thoughts are
not logical. Others fear for your
safety. Some say put up a fight.
You try to make sense of all that
is happening. You have so many
questions and not enough time.
You have in your mind one month
to get under control.
You felt like death was the only
answer. You had the perfect plan:
You would first brake glass to open wounds
till they bleed. You would take an overdose
of pill about 30. You would drink liquior
after the meds are in your system.
Then you would lay on your
death bed.
When they finally find as if others cared
they will report Dead on Arrival.
Seems explainable?
But it wasn't.
So it never happen.
Instead you stop the tears.
Suck up the complaining.
Stop the blame on others.
Called all the people who believe in you.
Completely stop living a lie.
Start slowly changing.
And said this to yourself:
It may not bring then home now
But unfortunately in a few years;
your children can look at pictures
of you and say;
That's my mommie and she changed not
just for us but for herself as well.
And you won't have to regrets anything.
Cause you'll be a different person.
Just remember:
One day you children will under your
roof, feeling your love, hearing your
rules, tasting your food,
and everything will be under your control.