What do I see? What do you believe?

Allow me this metaphor in missing moments I sore
beyond heights transversed beneath what I want
This day is tragically scorned in this font
in my eyes it appears in crooked lines of sorts
My eyes diminish taunts in reversal of fortunes
I once yearned to haunt with my mind supporting
Me, the entity of convexed misfortune
Lost my will to be what I wanted for so long
Now I lie in bed staring up at the ceiling
a picturesque plot I see in paint peeling
dripping like blood or my eyes thus leaking
I cannot give up, I must find a reason
I care not for format, but erasing my feeling
as my movie goes into thrilling suspension
suspended ascension, yes I've fallen
deep into the midst of a woman calling
the lies, the stalling, I don't need anyone
Perhaps if I thought of this before... appalling.
I am talking to you, or whomever is wanting
me to pay attention to whatever you're roaring
I shall move on to a site unalarming
none shall find me, only see my storming
giving up on this path of accepting anyone
into my circle, I shall retract to just one
the best path is a straight line, so pardon
me for letting go and moving where Autumn
is beautiful, where trees grow plush in wanton
circumstances, yet that I find, but I'm yearning
to be that man, unique, my own Walden
With the intestinal fortitude, I'm learning
that the world isn't round or flat, it's many forms
from bent to broken, I welcome the torment
I bring upon myself, my decisions are vaulting
above the rest, even those between two lungs
my heart to test, patience, all of them.
As you read I'm sure you feel misinformed
but as I write in jest, what truth's in undertones???