What Have I Become?

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  • Eating Disorder

    What Have I Become?

     Hunger ripping through every inch of my body
    Pulling at me, willing me to eat
    But there's that voice
    That evil voice that plagues me
    "Do not eat
           You will get fat
    Can't you see how far you've come?
           Food is the enemy"
    So instead I abide this fictitious fascade
    Made up of hurt, lies, and self-mutilation
    Burning, cutting, breaking my own bones
    Just to contain this pain inside me.
    And when I loose control
    When I make that fatal mistake of eating
    When, by chance, that food slips down my throat
    Then so does my finger.
    Binging and Purging
    Starving and Bleeding
    Deceving and Lying
    Is taht really what my life has become?
    Hollow and Empty
    Vased completely on hope of being pretty?
    Why must I suffer so?
    Why can't I just be "normal"?
    What is normal anyways?
    We all must play byt he rules society has set up for us
    If we do not
    The results may be fatal
    So instead of loving myself
    I destroy myself
    Indead of eating
    I die of hunger
    I would rather die skinny
    Rather die pretty that die fat and ugly.

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    Artie commented on What Have I Become?

    11-26-2009

    Very powerful piece. 10 from me for finding the strength to write yourself
    Reply to Comment

    gypsyf8 commented on What Have I Become?

    06-23-2009

    i was so curious about who you had become - that i cut and pasted into word and changed the font . . . .and now i know . . . . it's not always easy to put yourself out there and let the world know who / what you are - it is so cliche to say beauty is on the inside - when every bit of society convinces us - that isn't the case - truth be told - we r a product of our environment -- i wish you the best of luck conquering your demons
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

    Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

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