what i write (part 2)

8 Comments

Poem Commentary

i have been doing alot of back and forth with myself... the other voice inside continues to push me towards the light... i wrote the parts in italics last week and when i read over this today the other voice screamed no!!! which is why those parts are in bold... this is a continuation of an earlier poem that i wrote called what i write... to get the best perspective on this please read part one...

what i write (part 2)

what i write is what i am
what i see and where i stand
twisted dark and full of tears
an open heart drenched with fear


     what you write is what you are?!?
      a self absorbed open scar
      dark and twisted and full of tears?!?
      more like weak with thoughts unclear


what i write is what i do
not a style that others choose
haunting screams and evil eyes
shadow things that try to hide


     what you do is fucking dwell
      in a place you know too well
      the screams you hear and eyes you see
      are your own that you keep

what i write is WHO i am
trying to cope the best i can
purging out and letting go
my own self doubt of words that flow


     what you write is NOT who you are
      youre failing at the coping part
      try to purge with all your might
      but youre holding on too tight


what i write is what i think
the thoughts that dance inside of me
from razor blades... to peircing thorns
the toll it takes to ride the storm


     the thoughts you think are getting old
      you hold those thoughts way too close
      the thorns still pierce and the razors slice
      because you wont leave them behind


what i write is what i write
nightmares dreams and the things i fight
pain that stings and thoughts that hurt
immortalized through structured verse


     what you write is what you write?!? 
      yourself is what you really fight
      the pain you feel and thought that hurt
      youre rubbing salt with all these words


what i write is what i feel
emotions that seem to overwhelm
instead of love and peace and light
i write of dark and pain and fright


    what you feel is what you write
     but what you feel is trapped inside
     instead of turning towards the light
     in the dark you try to hide

 

what i write i would rather not
but sometimes its all ive got
if i could erase all the pain
i know i wouldnt write the same


    if you would rather not... then just dont
     youll take its strength if you let it go
     take the pain and spit it out
     theres no real comfort in self doubt

 
 
 

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MarionYost commented on what i write (part 2)

09-08-2010

Another amazing Write from you! Going into my faves. You nailed it yet again :) Perfect poem. all the best -Marion-

Dano

09/09/2010

thanks for taking the time to read and comment marion

Charlie23 commented on what i write (part 2)

08-31-2010

Bout half way through, I began thinking I must find part one.... I like the clash here...

Dano

08/31/2010

thanks again charlie... your comment are greatly appriciated

JadedJezzabel commented on what i write (part 2)

08-29-2010

i am giving you a standing ovation right now...........i get this 100 %.....the way you just let it flow the torture we put our selves through picking our own work words and emotions apart is priceless. one of if not the best i have ever read.

Dano

08/30/2010

a standing ovation huh... thank you so much for your kind words

stefy commented on what i write (part 2)

08-19-2010

i like your humble personality, regardless of the brilliant talent. You ask yourself ''what did i write''-is really good to express that honestly...maybe that makes you an amazing poet. If you ask me why i especially like this poem ....`cause that is my opinion and individual view of things. Just keep your style.

Dano

08/20/2010

thank you for your insight... i tend to keep myself humbled with the constant back and forth within myself

Madelynn commented on what i write (part 2)

08-17-2010

Damn Dano!! You have done it again.. Yes. This is a song to a poetic heart- actually to all who writes, all! Descriptions of the 'feelings' that stream from our minds; your mind, is written with the passion of 'two lovers' in conversation- yet, your genius has the 'thought voice' evaluating the voice of reason- both needing to be present for the conception and birth of a new baby poem- I'll tell ya what Dano- I count my blessings every time I read a piece you have written- amazing.-Maddi

Dano

08/17/2010

this is an example of the inner struggle that happens often inside of my head and in my heart... the back and forth... i feel like i am insane sometimes listening to two voices that sound the same

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

Dano’s Poems (150)

Title Comments
Title Comments
from an angels view 19
searching the darkness 10
a letter from santa 14
thanksgiving (acrostic) 12
the depth of... 11
ive wished 7
absentee 12
this is... 13
a journey into the dark 7
the cold of november 14
your voice 12
the yin to the yang 14
twisted 9
autumn 14
i think it happened again 11
luna~tic 19
the darkness 13
a blinding eclipse 16
the universe... 18
the wind of sorrow 14
my sorrow weeps 16
where but the dark... 12
immortal kiss 47
in a darkened room 17
our mother 7
within these flames 12
nocturnal (acrostic) classic rock 7
behind wrought iron bars 25
what i write (part 2) 8
today 17
the world in grey 6
the reality of... 5
in the shadow of a mountain 6
nothing will ever be the same 10
of cemetary dreams (and nightmare scapes) 12
next to a bed... 18
but... 15
at a funeral 12
seventeen (acrostic) 11
the fortunate one(s) 7
what did i do... 24
ashes to dust 45
dancing in the moonlight 14
disempowering the pain 14
the butterfly 10
what i write 14
sorry (i killed the after glow) 11
the humidity rises (an erotic tale) 9
pieces of light 8
the sad pumpkin &... 9
my face 12
for a long time... 14
(an explination of) distractions 6
tell me... 6
the charelston cookie tin 9
silent self destruction 8
exposed 13
the means of the day (a true valentines poem) 2
a poem about nothing... 8
blood bleeds black 7
dissecting myself 3
i will be just fine 3
the stacking of bricks 3
the complexities of depression... 4
spirits & ghosts 3
**random chaos** 2
bloodlust 3
...somethings missing... 2
15 years... 3
beauty sleeps entombed (parts 1 & 2) 3
**untitled** 2
the overstuffed closet 3
the candy dish 2
anxiety speaks 2
**untitled** 2
myself and the light 6
the fog 2
fire and tears 3
cerebral meltdown 3
sometimes i wish... 1
drawing strength from a starr... 2
disappointmen
t...
1
**untitled** 1
the flower garden 3
nature... 1
reaching out 2
the dark and the light... 1
the insistent demon 2
sorry... 3
forgive me lover... (parts 1 & 2) 2
im so sorry... 3
**no title... just random thoughts** 1
to eternity... 2
winter wind whips... 1
tired 2
lucid dream 1
the rains came... 2
the mourning light 1
another jagged pill 1
i just cant... 1
entitlement?!
?!?
1
entitlement!!
!!
1
burning within 4
inside of me 1
projected pain 1
the night... the dakness & the truth? 1
panic 2
the mourning fog 1
when the fires burn 1
through the night 1
shadow casts 0
a mournful rain 1
i cant protect me 2
my comfort place 0
an echo shifts 1
the monster 2
welcome to my life 0
the past is alive... 1
... 1
standing on the edge 2
my smile... 1
anxiety 2
my reality 0
another view... 0
untitled... 0
jagged pill 2
in the dark 1
what to do 1
how can i... 1
life... 3
a crust of pain 1
keeping me weak... 2
my dark world 3
another night of wondering 2
in the attic 4
i hold most dear 2
the me inside of me 2
another day 1
dreamed in a dream 2
a year in the life (dealing with death) 1
i look... 1
where my secrets are kept 1
a mouthful of words 2
i will not fear (when my eyes are blind) 2
i am aware (i'm already dead) 7
standing in the silence of my own shadow... 3
a blinding dark 1
growing pain 3
the longest of nights 5
... 7