I wish I could describe the love that I want as to what I have received.
My love feels like a forced smile after a broken promise.
It could be self-imposed guilt from those who felt they abandon their child
But, these guilt filled people were made them think they abandoned their child.
I could easily describe that I hate that I received
But, they may deny that they are responsible for their crime of pain that they gave me.
I could even discuss those visions of other forms of pain that I have seen
But, others may say it was a nightmare that I constructed in my mind.
These hates have left their footpaths where they played
But, they lack the paths of where they entered to where they exited of their playground.
I am mystified as to my personal pains that I have received
But, I can only rectified it that it was test my love for society.
I am still working to why for the other pains that I may have constructed.
There are those in my life felt that I impervious from the pain that they received
And, they try to make me love them to comfort their problems.
I am still recovering from my shock of lifetime of pain
And, their pains tend to be minute if mine lasted only a fortnight.
I want to build love with my lover what we share in our happy place
But, I have only felt they wanted a one-upmanship in pain.
They could make me feel more real materialist on them to love their body alone
But, I feel that love is more to what society wants us to love about the other.
There are a few who shed the love that I desire most of all
But, I tend to decline on their love since they found love as Q found it with U.
I have to imagine our friendship is like N has with K and less the other way around
But, I find others want it to be that way unless it’s like the word unkind.
I hope describe the love I want
But, if I failed; it would be the love that I received.