What???

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    What???

     What ?
    Oh what ?
    Oh what do you see?
    Oh what do you see when your looking at me?
    Do you see my face ?
    My smile?
    My body?
    I bet you dont see whats inside of me
    My feelings
    My hopes
    And all my dreams
    My fears
    My tears
    And all my fantiseas
    How I try
    How I cry
    How im so shy
    How I hurt
    How I pain
    How I love another human being
    You dont know
    So why even try?
    So why even try to figure out how I feel inside
    Cuz youll never know
    cuz youll never guess
    so why dont you just sit down and take a rest
    cuz I know what you see when your looking at me
    Just another lost soul
    Just another human being ......

    Written by me ... Stephanie Lynn Anderson


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    linlee commented on What???

    06-20-2009

    I'm pretty sure that you're not going to like me. My one word for your poem: trite. I've read it before from other poets. If you really want to tackle this topic, find a fresh new approach, incorporate techniques of poetry, like comparison and the five senses, and then go for it with gusto! You obviously have talent and strong feelings about this, so use more of your talent and give us a new approach on this. So, go ahead and hate me, but think about my tactless comment, too. Your beginning was interesting: What? Oh, what? Oh, what do you see? Oh what do you see when you look at me? Very nice; it draws us in. It makes us think and want to see more. Those lines are the ones that tell me you have the talent to pull this off. The fact that the person doesn't see what is inside of you is odd, because no one sees what's inside another person. You can live with a person for years and then see something that just floors you. And that just might be the angle that you can use to give new life to this poem. I have to ask, do you look like a lost soul on the outside? Is that really true? Is that something that those who know you best and love you would say about you? Get off the pity trip if you really believe this. Every soul has great worth to God. He is the one who sees who you are inside and appreciates all your sufferings. Anyhow, there are my comments. Just ignore them if you want. I didn't check out this site to tell everyone how great their poetry is, and I don't want people to do that to me. If I have a weak poem, I want to know who thinks that and why. I want ideas on what kinds of things they think might make it stronger and more powerful. Poetry should take lots of time because it is an art. It has to be developed and worked with. Let me know if you think any of my comment was helpful (or not!). linlee
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    Taristine commented on What???

    05-29-2009

    Isn't it amazing how many people only see what is on the outside and dont take the time to see what is on the inside? Wonderfully written.
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    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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