WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP

4 Comments

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  • Dream
    • ,
  • Love

    WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP
    I am torn between two people
    Who is it, which one is for me
    One's a friend, the other a love
    Just which one of them can it be

    They are similar in some ways
    But two very different minds
    I cannot tell just who it is
    For i am caught in many binds

    I cannot see the path for me
    Only see the red string of fate
    Going through this tangled roadway
    Just trying to find my soulmate

    Deep down inside I know them well
    Yet I do not know who they are
    In the shadows lay their image
    What I wish is a guiding star

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    rainyxsun commented on WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP

    07-14-2010

    Nicely put. (: There's a lot of choosing to do in life. But you just need to know which one is right. I know you'll find your soul mate ! Is soul mate one word or two words? D: Ah nvm that. But good job. ^ ^ One of the goodies reads for me today.
    Reply to Comment

    lemuwah commented on WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP

    08-24-2009

    I think it would help if you just drop the extra words.. Like for the first set I would make it something like- I am torn between two people Who is it, which for me One a friend, the other love Just which one can it be
    Reply to Comment

    lemuwah

    08/24/2009

    if you want, you can chat with me on yahoo- my id is lightmoon_goddess.

    lemuwah commented on WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP

    08-24-2009

    I really like the concept and the imagery, but i got tangled in the wording. I have a few ideas how to take the wordiness out, if you don't mind?
    Reply to Comment

    AzurePoet

    08/24/2009

    any thoughts are appreciated, thx. it does sound a little wordy

    KristyLoren commented on WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP

    08-24-2009

    Very deep and charming, super rhyme and connection. WELL DONE, keep writing :)
    Reply to Comment

    AzurePoet

    08/24/2009

    thanks :)

    Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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