Please leave your honest thoughts on this poem

A Camouflage

His camouflage struck me the most,
As he lay with his face down,
In a river of murky water,
Murkier by his blood.
Far away a little boy smiled at his mother,
Not knowing grief on their heels.
Who did he fight for?
Who did he die for?

His masters camouflaged their dreams,
And flashed his hope before him.
They lay before him the targets,
The source of all his woes,
Like a magician pulls out rabbits from his hat,
Like the ads display discounts,
And he buys them readily.
Where are his colleagues moving to?
They see through his body,
There are no flowers to decorate,
No white linen to wrap,
They pick up what they can,
Pack up their backpacks,
Walk away like zombies to the battle next,

They wept inside,
But felt omnipotent outside,
They could take lives,
But not sip coffee with their dear ones,
Widow women and rape them,
But not touch their wives sleep serene
Orphan children and abuse them,
But not join their children pillow fight,
Raze to the ground cities built over centuries,
But not play cricket in their neighbourhood,
All for someone's plastic dreams,
And their own hopeless hopes.

Re: Please leave your honest thoughts on this poem

Abraham,,,Well written,,I see a lot of sadness here This could be a book,,,Thank you,,Niteman.

Re: Please leave your honest thoughts on this poem

This is a superb poem. The nuances of callousness & bone wrenching tragedy are remarkable & the counter-positioning of filial acts with committed acts of war is very effective, as is the parallel you drew between recruitment promises and the realities of war & death & the juxtaposition of "someone's plastic dreams" with "their own hopeless hopes". Great word play. Great imaging. Righteous & truthful message. Outstanding poem! You'd get 10+ from me!

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Re: Please leave your honest thoughts on this poem

Thank you devaamido for your wonderful and deep comments! Kindly read my other poems on my homepage too. Thanks again.

Re: Please leave your honest thoughts on this poem

This poem is a work of art, characterizing everyday lives of loves ones never returning home from a war that should never have been. Our women and children, their sanity taken. What kind of generation can our children hope for? When they have no role models to return home with sane minds? What kind of life can they live? When no decent beds to rest, not knowing rather they will survive the next days. This poem is of reality. We all have a part of our lives in it. God Bless you with your creative work. Writer2037

Re: Please leave your honest thoughts on this poem

Right on, we all have a part of ourselves in it. Thanks a lot for the read and your comments.

Re: Please leave your honest thoughts on this poem

This piece of work hurt me to my very soul, I followed you there and I saw what you saw and smelled the death and hoplessness that you smelled, I don't mean to sound like a softy but I've seen enough death and hurt in life to go from simply strong to sencitive, which makes me even stronger, I'm not afraid to feel and and allow my heart to be touched, thank you for what you shared with us, you must be a truly amazing person to be able to reach that far down and pull up such amazing work, again thank you for sharing WARSAW

Last edited by warsaw 11-16-2009 at 09:24:15 PM

Re: Please leave your honest thoughts on this poem

We don't have to be apologetic when something touches our soul. As you rightly said, it does make one stronger. Thank you Warsaw for your appreciation of my work.