A Little Rispetto, please

A Rispetto, an Italian form of poetry, is a complete poem of two rhyme quatrains with strict meter.
The meter is usually iambic tetrameter with a rhyme scheme of abab ccdd. A Heroic Rispetto is
written in Iambic pentameter, usually featuring the same rhyme scheme.

Anita's Realm

Anita, lovely poetess,
sees nature's beauty all around,
feels wind of summer's soft caress,
and hears the magic in its sound.

She sits to write in quiet hours
when from her realm of thought sweet flowers
spring forth! She plucks and sets them free
as lyric words of poetry.

Copyright � 2006 Andrea Dietrich

It's good practice for your iambic and rhyme. Anyone care to try?

A Little Rispetto, please

Poetry Now

Poetry, faster yes it breathes
The world web sets the verse in smooth new stone
Many places it wants to be,
You can read to it on a phone

It lives to be the word of mouth;
And if it is good the world will bow
to it! The reader will say I
love this, much does it gratify

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I have found a source where it says 11-syllable

http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/504518/rispetto

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

It seems there are different ideas as to the strict definition. http://www.writing.com/main/portfolio/item_id/1594423

That was excellent that you checked it out, John....nice!

As far as your assignments goes, you still need to pay attention as to where the accented syllables are. Your piece begins with the word "poetry", which should automatically tell you it is not iambic. PO-e-TRY. There is no other way to say it. The accent is on the first syllable Iambic has the accent on the second syllable.

Third line begins with "many". once again, not iambic. MA-ny.

Your lines are 8 syllables long, but the second line goes to 10.

It just takes a lot of practice, sir. da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM...that's iambic

RE: A Little Rispetto, please - Aria

Summertime

As nighttime glides it way past day-
light, children play on backyard lawns.
A thousand quickened fireflies fly
to soon be trapped like stars in jars.

As grown-ups sip their glass of wine,
they faint recall a simpler time;
when life was yet a summers day
and time like fireflies, flew away.

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

Wow, Aria! What an exquisite poem! That ending....when life was yet a summers day
and time like fireflies, flew away....beautiful!

I can't really buy the day/fly - lawns/jars rhymes, though. Regardless of that, it's a great poem.

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

A Rispetto, an Italian form of poetry, is a complete poem of two rhyme quatrains with strict meter. The meter is usually iambic tetrameter with a rhyme scheme of abab ccdd. A Heroic Rispetto is written in Iambic pentameter, usually featuring the same rhyme scheme.


Longings in the Sand
________________



She came with longings, drawing in the sand
she cried in salty waves, and felt the glare
as sparkling mirrors coldly touched her hand
with water, painting day, and her nightmare.

she watched the mourning sun-rise, and expand
into the ocean, looking for her man
she saw his face, just like he was right there
It can't be you, I died, I'm dead... you're air

Last edited by Springsize 04-28-2010 at 06:56:06 PM

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

Excellent, Your iambic is perfection!

My only complaint would be the extra syllable you put in the last line. I would get rid of the "and". You don't need it.

Very well done.

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

Hi Balladeer...

I'm grinning here... I was wondering if you would catch that... Good one !
and thank you for the help...

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

OK, here is the attempt for rispetto... I know it's missing something but no matter how many times I read it I can't quite put my finger on it...

Reveal yourself to me, there is no need to hide
Low promises are whispered, to encourage trust
Awaiting your response, both arms are open wide
So patiently remaining, never one to rush

Do not from my gaze shy, for I am here to stay
As long as dreams remain, forever and a day
For I am Eros, Cupid, Love, so pure and true
And there's a special place in my heart just for you

OK, Teach, time to earn that fat salary!

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

Well, this is a tough one, I'll admit. You did follow the rules for the rispetto but it doesn't really flow that well, based on the pauses in mid-lines by using commas. It's almost as if each stanza is actually eight lines, jammed together and separated by commas to make it four lines long. Your iambic is excellent and there is no single are where I can say you did anything wrong so it stands as a good rispetto.

The only thing I think that needs to be changed is the last line. it's the only line where there is no comma to seperate thoughts. By the time the reader of this piece has reached the last line, his mind has been conditioned to expect a pause in the middle of each line. Without that same pause in the last one, it sounds strange and alters the flow, I would go with something like..

And there's a special place, here in my heart for you.

You're making me work for my big salary!!!

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

Iambic pentameter

Reign Past the Storm

O' Precious be, the voice of rain which cries
To lace a drum of sorrow, upon ears
Of a time past, which ceases to demise
To reflect such an image, thro' lost tears

Who dares seek truth with absence of the sun-
When the spindle of age bids to be spun?
'Tis I who shall stand, to embrace sunrise
O' precious be, the voice of rain which cries




Madelynn
-..easy on the first day..transfer student.. remember?

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

Hello, Maddi! Always nice to see a fresh, new, smiling face in the classroom! Not a bad effort at all for your first assignment. The poem is good and, with the exception of losing the meter in a few places, I like it!

O' Precious be, the voice of rain which cries
To lace a drum of sorrow, upon ears
Of a time past, which ceases to demise
To reflect such an image, thro' lost tears

The first two lines are perfect in their iambic presentation. The third and fourth, however, lose it.

OF a TIME PAST, which CEA-ses TO de-mise.
Iambic begins with an unaccented syllable, followed by an accented one (da-DUM). This line doesn't do that.

To reflect such an image, thro' lost tears
TO re-FLECT such an IM-age THRO lost TEARS.
Same situation here. Sincethe line does not begin iambic, the rest of the line can't follow it.

Who dares seek truth with absence of the sun-
When the spindle of age bids to be spun?
'Tis I who shall stand, to embrace sunrise
O' precious be, the voice of rain which cries

First line perfect.

When the spindle of age bids to be spun?
WHEN the SPIN-dle of AGE BIDS to be SPUN
Same problem with the meter beginning the line.

'Tis I who shall stand, to embrace sunrise
tis I who shall STAND, to em-BRACE SUN-rise.
You begin iambic but then lose it with "who shall STAND" and that causes a domino effect with "to em-BRACE" and "BRACE SUN-"

Last line is perfect.

So you can just use a little work on meter. Get that da-dum working! Many times it's just a rearranging of words or minor changes which make the difference. I'll re-write yours and perhaps you will see how the flow of the lines is improved...

O' Precious be, the voice of rain which cries
To lace a drum of sorrow, upon ears
Of times since past, which ceases ro demise
Reflecting such an image, thro' lost tears.

Who dares seek truth with absence of the sun-
When age's spindle beckons to be spun?
'Tis I who stand, embracing each sunrise
O' precious be, the voice of rain which cries

As you can see, I made very minor changes and the poem is still yours. Again, it's a pleasure to see you and we hope to see more of you.

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

Ok- I think I see
Thank you. Now I'm probably going to need a great deal of help with this rhythm, I was taught a bit iambic flow before- and, I was taught something diffrent. Now this is a long time ago-lol, but I did have an A. Ok- it was like this
just an example off the top of noggin- to TOWN, we RIDE, on WINGS, made GOLD

-Ok- is THAT right, or, the fact that if the first line begins with 'to' makes this incorrect..
Wait, maybe the fact that these are only two syllable lines-or one line on an 8 count using one syllable words, makes this a flawless Iambic example-doesnt it??
Hurry up- reply back! I think I'm on to something here....

-Maddi

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

Yes, Maddi, "to town we ride on wings made gold" is perfect iambic. Of course if the sentence were correctly said - "to town we ride on wings made of gold", then it wouldn't be because you have two unaccented syllables together (made of).

I don't know how you were taught before but there is only one iambic and one way to teach it. You simply need to say your lines out loud and hear where the accented syllables are. When they go da--DUM da-DUM, you have iambic.

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

Ok- one more thing~~well, for now anyway-lol

I was looking over your 'rearrangment' rework thingy on my piece, and I think I can totally see how you worked the pulse, However, something alittle confusing for me; I was recently told to avoid the suffix 'ing' in poetry.
Is this a matter of opinion? Proper writing? or/ that the rule doesn't apply when dealing with strict Iambic metering...
Also..( i kno; I said one more thing, but-this just jumped in my head,lol) My poem-the way I wrote it originally, I like my wording better. So, is it acceptable to keep it as I originally wrote it, but be sure not to claim it is strict Iambic? -or does the fact the the drum doesn't roll right, compromise the write( in your opinion)? *thanks-hugz*

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

-whew good,,,gotcha,! Hey, know what this means don't 'cha??- It means I GET IT!! YAH!!(jumpin' around the room doin' alittle cha cha action,lol) Ok- Im going to try and either do another one for you to check out- or redo this one in my own way- for you to check- ok? One thing about 'the Maddi', is that alot of times I think I got something..sure of it, then BAM- it all falls down! So, I'll work on this more before moving on, ok? I mean if it's ok with you. ps- it was along time ago when I learned about stressed syllables-lol, so, I could be (or probably am) ridiculously wrong about what I remember. -
Maddi

RE: A Little Rispetto, please

Maddi, you take as much time as you want and do as many revisions as you want...I'll be here for you.

I don't know who told you not to use - ing words in poetry but it was probably some writing "guru" who couldn't write a 2 line poem if his life depended on it! Count the number of -ing words in The Raven, generally regarded as one of the best poems of all times. I'm glad Poe didn't follow his advice!!

As far as liking your version better than mine....great! It's YOUR poem and you can have it any way you like. I wiil give you pointers but the ultimate decision is all yours....and I'll applaud whatever way you like.