Can I say just how I feel ?

Can I say what I feel


They say that we are free
They say that I can be the best man that I can be
But my mind is still shackled
Chained to apart that won't let me move forward, and here we go
As a black man in America I am still viewed as less than
Even when I show them the conformity that they suggest of me
I cut my hair, so that it is not so, Afrocentric
I shave my face to seem less militant
I stand erect to show respect to myself and them
And I still can not be a friend
Just a black man who provides a service
Do it and get out
I have been well versed in the curse of the European ways
I spent 15,330 days plus trying to get away from a me to learn about an us
In discuss, I have learned the Greek alphabet in its European form
Given to the Italians to give rise to italic languages instead of my mothers native tongue from a home that I now feel exiled from
They will not admit it but it is the oldest language known to man
And this man has been away from his land and his words that caused my heart to beat
Now, retreats, because of me being ignorant in the ways of the Egyptians
Being ignorant in the customs,and tongue of the real,OG's
Not even a pinch of Arabic which replaced the Egyptian Arabic after the Muslim conquest, was taught to me
A little more enslavement if you will please
The numbers that we count, stem from our mother land but two
Indian mathematicians demolished our creativity because we did not create a place value or symbol for zero
Knowing what I know God exist
Knowing that I know I exist
Knowing what I know you exist
So, when does zero come into existence
Maybe zero did not make sense because there was no substance for it
But the European way is to know that nothing exists, so they can show us, the place value in which dark skinned people, take up
A value that took a hundred years or more to instill in the genetics of the black slaves, that nothing, like you exist
And we are it
I can beat my chest and proudly proclaim that I know their ABC, and the Hindu numeral system developed by the Europeans to teach me to conform
I now don a diploma that reaffirms the issue that I know nothing about me
Where I come from
Who are the lovers, writers, thinkers, movers, shakers, inventors, of the land that is so far removed from my spirit that my captors stole in a plan not to give it back
But replace it with what they suggest civility is
Funny how learning any of this stuff has really helped me be a part of them

The language that I was taught was foreign to me, I became accustomed to it, through repetition, and Pavlov's behaviorism you see
Pavlov himself did not care for the dynamics of psychology
But nonetheless it was the very thing that helped my captures change me
Mary had a little lamb, hop on pop, Dr. Seuss, the little red wagon, where the stories that I heard, and that became relevant to me not the bees and the tortoise, the magic ring, not the fable of the animals in the woods, not the Sufi dhikr, of the day that would say " Al jeel, Ei Yanni, Amr Diab, Al Jeel, Masakeen- Ehab,
Balsam Shafee Khedr

Which are some old Arabic from my native land that I close my eyes and imagine singing songs with the people who look like me
Only to open them again finding myself standing in a room filled with little ones chanting the allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
And to the republic for which it stands for
One nation under God
Indivisible with liberty and justice for all
Even now I shake my head
A small smile on my face
But I wonder if I was ever truly included in this place