Has it happened to you in another time or place?
Are our tears are the same, as they stream down our face?
Was it a son you relinquished that un-forgetful day?
Or was it a daughter like me that I ached to stay?
To stay with me forever… for no one to take…
A young child myself, a choice not mine to make.
Were the birthdays of your child almost too hard to bear?
Never forgetting, wondering what she was into that year?
Did you pray for her parents to be the best they could be?
Did you pray she’d be healthy, happy, and strong like me?
Did you compare her to strangers you’d see in the street?
Or with every child her age that you’d meet?
Did you wonder if she’d wonder or even know about you?
And did you start searching for her and hoped she would search too?
Hours and hours from your computer chair…
Wondering if she would ever magically appear.
Did you get frustrated and take a break a time or two?
Not knowing how much disappointment you felt you could live through?
Were you scared to death of the chance she would call?
That she’d only want a medical history and that’s all?
A “one call” chance to say what she had to say?
Were you scared she would hate you, thinking you “threw her away”?
Were you scared that giving her up for a better life was in vain?
And scared to find out that her life was full of pain?
Were you as fortunate as I, because my fears were unjust?
To look in her eyes, and see me was surely a must.
Her life has been wonderful, her parents were great.
Her health is just perfect; her feelings for me were not hate.
Hearing her voice, helps to pull me through.
It is all so surreal a dream come true.
Finally reunited… to just see her smile…
To be able to just sit and talk with her for awhile.
We have the same hands, olive skin and brown hair.
The same sense of humor, we are quite a pair.
The instant bond between us is unexplainable and real
It’s funny, after all this time, I am just now starting to heal.
It’s been three months now …don’t know where to begin.
Not sure where we’re headed or where I’ll fit in…
Like, when she has children, what will I be?
Gramma? Like I so long to be… is that wrong of me??
She doesn’t call me mom because he has one of those…
With each conversation, my love for her grows…
I take it day by day, on the days that I can
I can’t mess this up, I can’t lose her again.
I am the one who left her, not strong enough to fight.
So why this fear of her shutting me out of her life.
Like the ol’ cliché, only time will tell.
Those thoughts are my own private hell.
Whatever is was that brought her back to me.
Gave me a chance to be all I can be.