How To Gain Real Friends 101

So why have friends? Well in this site if you have no friends, you will never have that many reviews. So if you want to get reviews you will need friends. All the other tricks I have learned probably gets me about 10% of my reviews, the other 90% comes from my friends. This is why it is important. Now of course there are many real life friends here to be found. In truth I have always been a loner myself, and regardless of how hard people have tried to get close to me I have lived in my own world for the most part. Then I found OP. Don’t get me wrong I have many of what most people call real friends, but to me there are just friendly acquaintances. My real friends are here on OP, this site is much more than just another poet site, for many this place is home, a place for friendship, community, a place to fit in, and for some even a family. It is up to you what kind of friends you would like to have but if you really want reviews you will need friends.

Some people mistaking think the more friends you have the more reviews you will get, this is wrong, wrong, wrong. I know friends with hundreds and hundreds of friends, some with 500, some over 1000, and I have even seen some with over 10,000 but they have few reviews. The more is not the merrier. Truth be told it is not the quantity of friends you have it is the quality. It is nice to have a lot of friends but what is the point of having a lot of friends listed in your contacts if the don’t read your poems?

So how to gain friends that will read your poetry? Very simple really, goes back to the number one rule, review, review, review, comment, comment, comment. The more you review and comment on your friends poetry the more they will review and comment on yours. It is really pretty simple. Now you don’t have to be best friends with everyone on your list but you do want to develop a relationship where you review their poetry and they return the favor. This is the number one key concept to getting your friends to read your poetry, always return the favor. If they come and take the time to review your poetry than it is common curtsey to return the favor. If you do not they will stop coming by.

How many friends should I have? Well that is entirely up to you but I suggest to not gain more friends than you can keep up with. What I mean by this is, if you have more friends than you have time for than you will never get caught up with your reviews. For each person that reviews your poems you have to go back and review theirs, it takes time. If you have lots of free time then by all means have lots of friends but if you are limited on time than it is not good to get too many. So again the more is not the merrier if time is not your friend.

How to get your friends to read your poetry? Easy, easy, easy, read theirs and 90% of the time they will read yours, really as simple as that. Also send them a PM when you post a new poem. Just because you post something new does not mean they know, unless you tell them. Go under each and every friend you have and send them a PM to read your new poem and you will return the favor. As there is no mass PM for all you friends, this takes time to do but well worth the time because it really works! I will say this again because it is that important, if they take the time to read and comment on your poem, you must return the favor. Otherwise your friends will just be a name on your list.

Get to know your friends, be personable. If you are just some name on the list of 100s of friends than what is the likelihood they will really take the time to read your poems? It is good to be open and friendly with your friends. If you see them on commenting in the friend activity list, send them a little PM just saying hi. Take the time to read their profile, get to know a little about your friends. The more connected you are to your friends the more they will want to comment on your poetry.

How to gain new friends? You can find them all over, 40,000 members and growing daily. You can find them in the chart rooms, forum threads, find interesting comments on your friend’s poetry and go check them out, find them on your friend’s list, find them in the new poems posting. So many ways, endless really. Finding new friends is very easy, just click request as a friend and they will most likely add you. But how do you get them to read your poems? Back to rule number one read, read, read, comment, comment, comment. Rather than just requesting them as a friend go and read one of two of their poems and comment. 90% of the time not only will they add you on but they will come by your profile and return the favor. And here is where the cycle starts. It doesn’t usually end unless you stop commenting back or if they quit the site. Also you can send you new friend a PM, just saying hello and maybe a little about yourself, or that you really like their poetry, profile, bio pic, profile pics, what ever you want to say.

Gone with the wind- where did my friend go? From time to time you will notice that your friends may just vanish. OP is not our only life for most, so things come up in people’s lives and sometimes people leave with no notice or warning. They leave what I call a ghost page. So I suggest to weed out your friend list from time to time. If you visit a friend’s page and they haven’t posted anything new in months, you send them PMs to read you poetry and they don’t, you send the a little PM saying hi and nothing, then their profile is probably a ghost page and you can remove them as a friend. This helps keep down the number of friends you have and concentrate you time and energy on people that are active on the site. Do you really want a friend that only comes on the site every couple of months? What is the likelihood they will be doing much reviewing? These poets just usually come on every once and awhile and post new poems, never read anyone else’s, and expects everyone to read theirs. Not really a good poet friend in my book. I like to keep a list of poets that are fairly active on the site and that I read their poetry and they read mine.

I hope this helps people understand the differences in having a large number of empty faces on their friend list and having real friends that comment on your poetry. This is after all the reason most of us come here, to get out poetry read and for some friendship.


Please feel free to contact myself angel33614 at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/angel33614 or the God father of OP papapaczki at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/papapaczki or any member of the team if you have any further questions about the forum, one of the threads, general questions about OP, or any suggestions for future threads.

Here is s listing of the ins and outs of OP team members in no particular order:

Teardrops aka Marie at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/Teardrops
Atie at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/Artie
Ginga at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/ginga
Malificent aka Mal at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/Maleficent
Knight at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/knight4696
Rygar at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/Rygar
Wordslinger at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/WordSlinger
Madelynn aka Maddi at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/Madelynn
Kah at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/kah
Dahlusion aka Dah at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/dahlusion
Rymer at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/Rhymer
Cheronold aka Cher at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/cheronld
Gogant at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/gogant
Aria at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/Aria
Chaos at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/Chaos128
ApaqRasgirl aka Asha at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/ApaqRasgirl
Supence aka Spence at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/SuSpence
Charlie23 at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/Charlie23
Ianscott at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/ianscott
Cousinsoren aka Cousin at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/cousinsoren
Dano at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/Dano
Sammia at http://www.originalpoetry.com/poet/sammia


Purity of the soul, journey well to all!!! With grace and humility ANGEL aka The Poem Buster

Last edited by angel33614 09-21-2010 at 04:56:30 PM

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

I, like angel, have been a loner most of my life. I have friends but readily fall back into my old ways readily. I have made some friends on this site, and enjoy reading their works and seeing their names pop up in my comments. The community here will readily offer prayers and support to those in need. People have to know you are in need in order to help, so venture out. I'm trying, so can you.

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Angel,
I have to disagree on weeding out your friends.
For these reasons, what if you had a Delimea (lol), or a Trama and poetry is your thing, and you loved this site, and the Poet that was your friend, and you came back to see, you were cut, that isn't cool, life is hard enough,
by staying friends means that,
friends.
Also a poet may not be active, but by removing their link they're sent to the back shelves, they may have some poems that kick.
So doing that to me is un-cool.
I have friends that are not active, but they PM me saying I like that one
WS, be who you are. never change.

WordSlinger OUT

PS I have friends in the war, that post poems via cell phone.
Feel me??

Last edited by WordSlinger 09-27-2010 at 08:20:42 PM

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

wordslinger- my way is only a suggestion as I have said, I certainly am not the expert on everything around here, it was just the way I do it and my own two cents. I know there are many different perspectives and opinions on this topic and this is the very reason I put together the team and support anyone else who wants to add thier own ideas and thoughts to the mix, my way is not the one right way. But for me, I am limited on time, so I have to have someway to keep down my friend list. If I had 500 friends there would be no way I could keep up with all the reviews, just not realistic for me. And I don't want to start ignoring people and weeding out who I will be friends with and who not, this is not fair either. I only try to weed out old ghost accounts and I go through alot of investigation before I do this, I don't do it lightly. And I keep a list of the ghost accounts in my past and everyonce in awhile check back to see if they come back, you can always add them back on when they return and become active again. Just my thoughts... Purity of the soul, journey well!!! with grace and humility ANGEL

Last edited by angel33614 09-21-2010 at 07:17:24 PM

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

wordslinger- I would put you into the category of Poetry GOD, you are one of the most liked, most experienced, and most known poets on this site, I always listen to you with open ears. I am not aove learning and certainly have not figured out everything, neither here or in life, always a work in progress. I did notice you are one of the few poets that has many many friends and gets a lot of reviews, so I was meaning to ask you how do you do it, what is your tricks and advice, pease teach us. This is the very reason I put together the team, as there are many different ways and no way is the one correct way, as we are each different and have our own unique circumstances one way will never work for everyone, we each must find our own path both in life and here on OP. I hope this forum will just act as an informational portal for others to learn and in the end create thier own way, make it thier own. Purity of the soul, journey well!!! with grace and humility ANGEL- POB ofr life!!!

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

I have no clue, but this is how I feel.
When I signed up Dec 23 2008, i was like yes,
I like this I can be me, and the world can see what I do,
I was a library rat at the time, and far from where I lived.
I had like 800 poems, and the library only gives you an hour.
So Im like dang, so I went home after posting a few.
I had 465 here at one time, but I deleted them for reasons only a few know.
But I'd go home, and select five to post, I pretened OP was a stage,
you have an hour to jamm, to the world, and if anyone one commented, it was a scream, and a fist the air, like a hell ya.
(poets may need to look at it that way)
So I'd have to say that people/poets feel that in my poetry, and in my comments, well I was wild at first then I toned it down some.
I was like ok this isnt a party when commenting,
( The Grid of Her Heart was a winner, after 465 plus posts, so
you have to slamm em out, or do it right the first time)

I never studied poetry until like a year before OP.
I couldn't I told my elders, no way.
How could I find my voice, my signature reading Poe, Dickinson.
I do have to say my roots are Nikki Sixx, and Ozzy.
oh And Axel Rose-GnR lyrics, that's real to me.
Now after writing for 20 years plus, and libraries, and OP
I look at it all different.
There are Poets on here that can do it in a flat second.
I write in different Genres for the maze of it all.
Lost in the flavors out there, as a Poet of Blood, we have encountered a new genre.
and I m busy, but when I get time, I have to slamm one out,
it;s in my nature, you POBs know what that is, lol


I say be true to yourself, and the poets poem, and them.
and strive.
I have a theory about being someone.


Bob needs a battery for his car.
Jerry makes batteries
Jimmy drives the truck that hauls em
Leroy sells em at his store

No one does it alone.
Bob needs to get off his ass because the battery is there, just get em.

Just like your dreams.

Elvis Presley was the only one that I know of that had
Leroy, Jimmy, and Leroy knock on his door.

Thank God for Johnny Cash, lol

so the story goes, discipline inside, then it shows outside,

Then we here at OP will set a fire under your fanny.

I can go on, but
Madelynn, Peat, Kabbal, ThoughtCaster, and CousinOren have showed me things, because
1 they are like us/me, but they droped their life, and ego ( i dont think they have one( ego) but they dropped them for me, because I have no clue, lol


thanks my second interview,
oh and my Mom is blind, so I describe things,
she said, Gosh , that's ugly, in the world
Thank God I am blind
I said I hear that...


-0--0-0-0-0-

Read Comment and read and comment until you pass out...

Last edited by WordSlinger 09-21-2010 at 09:12:09 PM

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Ok, gaining friends - Here's how I got started:

I posted up my first few poems, and waited. Anyone who commented (OriginalMerlin and Castlemist were among the first) I sent a friend request to.

As I became more familiar with this site, I started reading random poets in the Reading Room. If someone's work really struck me, I send a friend request.

If someone friended me, I accepted. I always love reading new poets.

I also joined some forum threads, and that generated friends, too.

I have a really good group of friends here on OP. Like Wordslinger says - I can be myself here, and be understood, and talk poetry with like=minded people. I love that - it is the only area in my life that I am surrounded by poets. Can't beat that!!

kah

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

I read and have accepted many friends, and have sent friend requests. To say how many I have I would have to go look and see. Numbers are not important to me, reaching out and being able to touch another is. I tend to write poetry on topics a lot of people find offensive. I was kicked off one sight because of my poem "Succubus" wasn't up to their standards I guess. I write to release, and for pleasure, and in doing so hope that in some small way I have entertained a few readers along the way. If it wasn't for some of the friends on this sight offering encouragement and their friendship along the way I would have left a long time ago. I can't mname them all and sorry for leaving anyone out because you all are importnt to me. Thanks Artie, Knight, Angel, Teardops to name a few. I appreciate the kind comments the PM's and words of encouragement. Your friend Rhymer

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Hope I'm not boring everyone but I mentioned writing poetry on topics others find offensive. I have been sitting on one not sure whether to post or not. I posted it on another site and it has received a few kind comments, the title is "Pastor Jack"
knowing the poem comes from me you probably already have figured out it is not a nice poem. I'll probably post it this weekend. A need to be me as another poster stated. I have a need to be me.

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Like anything in life worth obtaining ... One must make an effort.
i never thought of it as searching for or gaining friends per say. If a friendship happens because you relate so well with one another, then great. But this shouldn't be about friends at all .. it should be about poets respecting other poets and enjoying each others works and company. It really shouldn't be a popularity contest.
I have been on the site for a while and have met many people whom I respect and honor for their outstanding talent. I accept and send friend requests only from poets whose works I admire ... I do not accept friend requests from random poets who have never commented on my works. Nor do I accept if they hit like .. but do not comment .. Sorry , but I despise the Like Button - I think that it's a cop-out personally - I only hit the like button after I leave a comment,
...............
So these are the internal questions you should ask yourself ....
1) Why did you come to OP?
2) What is it that you are looking for?
3) What do you expect in return?
4) Are you satisfied with the results?
5) What can I do to make it better?

I believe it's as easy as this ...
Read, Comment, Praise and Respect. - REPEAT
If you have time .. try getting involved with a forum that interests you.
Be honest and caring - and these traits will serve you well and are infectious.

I hope this helps ....
Read and Write On my friends!
Ken

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

I want everyone here in OP Land to be my friend. Now, if you do not want
to be my friend.......step forward and I will knock you down..........That works
every time. Well, that might not gain you too many friends, but it sure beats
hugging your dog......

---- gogant

RE: RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Quote:

Originally Posted by gogant

I want everyone here in OP Land to be my friend. Now, if you do not want
to be my friend.......step forward and I will knock you down..........That works
every time. Well, that might not gain you too many friends, but it sure beats
hugging your dog......

---- gogant

RE: RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Quote:

Originally Posted by gogant

I want everyone here in OP Land to be my friend. Now, if you do not want
to be my friend.......step forward and I will knock you down..........That works
every time. Well, that might not gain you too many friends, but it sure beats
hugging your dog......

---- gogant

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

That's a good comeback, Rhymer..........I too would rather hug my dog
in place of hugging someone who seems to be a friend, but in reality, it is
only an internet buddy. The only problem I have is I can't give my dog a
great big hug.....she's a she, you know, and is a tiny Pomeranian........

RE: RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Quote:

Originally Posted by gogant

That's a good comeback, Rhymer..........I too would rather hug my dog
in place of hugging someone who seems to be a friend, but in reality, it is
only an internet buddy. The only problem I have is I can't give my dog a
great big hug.....she's a she, you know, and is a tiny Pomeranian........

RE: RE: RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhymer

Originally Posted by gogant

That's a good comeback, Rhymer..........I too would rather hug my dog
in place of hugging someone who seems to be a friend, but in reality, it is
only an internet buddy. The only problem I have is I can't give my dog a
great big hug.....she's a she, you know, and is a tiny Pomeranian........

You seemed more like a big dog man to me. A Pomeranian? Is this really a dog or a piece of fruit. Kidding of course, internet friends are like ships passing on the sea. You get to see the pretty exteriors but never what truly lies beneath.

RE: RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

RE: RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Last edited by cousinsoren 09-25-2010 at 04:15:28 PM

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

I was into that craze with the CB radio thing…“Hey buddy…got your ears on ?‘ “That’s a big 10-4 good buddy.“ One day someone got the itching to wanting to get together…About 10 of us showed up….Honey Babe, Lolita, Sweet Dreams, Big Bad Henry, and some others….after that day, I gave up being a CB buddy…for some reason, they didn’t fit my thoughts of what they sounded like.



knight4696 posted:

Hey AW Sorry Pal, but I have to disagree with your statement on internet friends .. I believe you truly can see the inside of the poet in their writings .. I have met many friends that I consider true friends .. we talk on the phone and chat on yahoo .. and most recently Ian Scott came to visit us in TX. not to mention that I met the love of my life thru the internet. I'm sure that there are a few shallow vessels that we pass on the Seas .. but I consider myself a good judge of character and I choose carefully.

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Knight- couldn't agree with you more! Poetry is the window to the soul for those who are blind enough to truely see. Many poets try to write fictional poetry, about stories or observational poetry about nature, life, etc. But in truth it is near impossible to write about visions and emotions and not spill apart of yourself into it. Some people are an open book and others hide behind allegory but there is almost always some meaning to be found. While people in society wear masks of many diversities and sizes poetry casts off these masks, and allows a window to one's true self, the naked soul. In some ways if you can really relate to someone's poetry and get to know them through thier poems you can often know a side of them that even thier family and friends in the real world do not know, one's true self, without the masks and illlsuions. So often I have heard people say that computer friends are not real, but to those who are blind enough to truely see another for thier naked self, this vision is more true of the individual than any our eyes can create. For many of us this place is the only place that we can have real friends. And to get back to the point of the forum, these kind of friends will also religiously read your poetry as an added bonus, lol. Purity of the soul, journey well!!! with grace and humility ANGEL- POB for life!

RE: RE: RE: RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight4696

Originally Posted by Rhymer

Originally Posted by gogant

That's a good comeback, Rhymer..........I too would rather hug my dog
in place of hugging someone who seems to be a friend, but in reality, it is
only an internet buddy. The only problem I have is I can't give my dog a
great big hug.....she's a she, you know, and is a tiny Pomeranian........

You seemed more like a big dog man to me. A Pomeranian? Is this really a dog or a piece of fruit. Kidding of course, internet friends are like ships passing on the sea. You get to see the pretty exteriors but never what truly lies beneath.

No offense taken sir Knight, to disagree to what one person has said provides both an oppurtunity to learn and grow. You probably are an excellent judge of character where I am not. To truly know someone, I have to know them for a while and be able to see them and their body gestures. I can tell you are a caring individual and I believe a risk taker to a degree. From the PM's we have shared I believe you to be a person I could trust and could see you as a true friend. Other people that I have accepted as friends are ships passing in the night, never heard from again after the initial response. I'm being clear as mud I guess. Trying to explain my thoughts on paper is hard.

Hey AW Sorry Pal, but I have to disagree with your statement on internet friends .. I believe you truly can see the inside of the poet in their writings .. I have met many friends that I consider true friends .. we talk on the phone and chat on yahoo .. and most recently Ian Scott came to visit us in TX. not to mention that I met the love of my life thru the internet I'm sure that there are a few shallow vessels that we pass on the Seas .. but I consider myself a good judge of character and I choose carefully.

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

Ya'll are awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cracks me up sometimes. Especially Cousinoren! If I was in jamaica I would have to talk a walk on the beach with you and listen to your humor and wisdom.......wordslinger, a man after my own heart....i feel ya on nikki sixx........you should check out tupac's poetry books too....you would dig it. I have no two cents to toss in on this as far as my take on the topic.....just do what you can and want to do....learn something have fun and be real.........Jezzabel..........out

Last edited by JadedJezzabel 09-26-2010 at 07:57:02 PM

RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

ok did someone say friends?? Yes I have met and I ADORE many poets that I have talked with on OP. As Knight said, there is a special aura, maybe a karmic attraction between birds..that flock together. I usually can get a sense of someone's core after having pm'd them for awhile. Generally I am a cautious sort and not a pushover. SO it takes a certain intuitive feel to get the sense of what to feel or how much to express when communicating with another. I have to say I have bunches of casual friends and fewer close OP friends. I have many poet acquaitances in communities I travel to for poetry readings.But how ever you cut it if you treat fellow poets with respect, kindness, and enjoy and critique poetry positively, you will gain friends. It's up to you to decide how close a friend you want to have...Happy Day to you all!!
ginga

RE: RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101

RE: RE: How To Gain Real Friends 101