[HOW LONG]....10.19.09

People make it look so easy,
fallin' in & out flowfully,
How come i cant do this heartfully?
nd today i just wanted to get so closely,
nd you didnt even bother to sey "Hi" to me,
i knew right then its imagination blindly,
foolin' me, so i hafta get rite as soonly,
before i be a fool & break helplessly,
But i wish it could stay with me,
alwaez hopin' it gets somewhere please,
knowin' he's not goin' nowhere near me,
I get to start feelin' a vibe,
i just wanna give you a heartful hug before i sey "Bye."
As i cant wait for this to happen in time,
i remember its just imagination i hafta let pass by,
and those times i made myself sound like a fool,
but not as much if i were to tell that i wrote this for you,
it encourages me to stay away from you,
i wont say because i need you, or want you,
or because i like you, or love you,
because those are not the words i feel rite to sey to you,
But instead, its how much & what you mean to me,
Like i sed before, this is not easy,
especially for somebody like me,
in my way, its too complicated to hear or see,
the only way i let others know & myself is by taking a feeling,
and wonder & reminisce until it feels like a healing,
thatz how it is with you every other time,
it just sucks knowing itz not something that'll come in your mind,
sometimes i even get a glimpse of not bein' seen from behind,
i try my best not to lose sight and repeat last time,
i just keep hopin that something will happen to help clear my mind,
and agen, back & forth to hoping & imagining so blind,
no way will this be happening soon in my life,
So here i am, writing what i can to find,
a better way to deal with a feeling of mine,
how longer will this keep going if i do or not even try..................