My Thoughts on You

3 Comments

  • beautyandpain
  • So my friends wants me to write a poem about me and him...I haven't written in so long I don't know if I can just write on command like this. Any advice?

My Thoughts on You

You're laying here right next to me

Fast asleep and breathing deep.

You stir for a moment eyes open in a squint

They find me there and pull me close

Your lips whisper they love me

And then your gone again into your sleep.

 

I study your face memorize every inch

The curve of your cheek the line of your jaw

The brush of your eyelashes the sweep of your hair

The way that you breath, your chest as it rises and falls

I take a deep breath, wish I could bottle your smell

I stay awake afraid to sleep afraid to forget a single detail

 

As I lay here I'm gazing at you, taking you in, remembering you

But also I'm wondering about you, about a future with you can it be true?

I imagine what it'd be like married to you, having kids with you, dying with you

I wonder if you see it too starting a life with me, living with me, growing old with me

Or is it just my own fantasy my own imaginings my own ever after happily

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shakeme4life commented on My Thoughts on You

10-13-2013

The visual projection of your poem says you have structure in your writing, the words describe sensual encounters with someone you care for. Checking the usage of commas, and stretching for larger words to describe your concept could help you pool from a larger audience. Thanks for sharing your poem.

Len commented on My Thoughts on You

10-11-2013

This is a wonderful piece, but it always scare me to what goes on in a womans head. Men think about the big things and details are an after thought,

jj1562 commented on My Thoughts on You

04-02-2012

i love this i could feel what u felt see what u saw great job

Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

beautyandpain’s Poems (10)

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