Im numb with comfort. Im numb with pain. Im numb with endless anger ive gained.

Years have past, time has flown by but all these thoughts are still making me cry.

Why have you hurt me? Why couldn't you see, that all you have done has really impacted me.

I'm 19 years old but yet ive grown to be cold. Cold with shame and embarressment. Cold with endless discouragement.

I hate what you have done for making me numb for taking the one thing most important to me.

You took my childhood dad! Doesnt that make you even a little bit sad? I bet it doesn't. I bet you don't care. You couldn't really give a shit could you? Because your there and im here!

Here thats right still stuck in that room where you did those things and sent me to my doom.

Your not even worth being called my "father" your a selfish basterd so why do i even bother?

I bother because i did love you..you where my hero. Someone i looked up to. now i realize that you where never a good guy, but you were really good at making mama cry.

Remember that night when you got really high? You came downstairs yelling and i didn' know why.

You where punching walls and throwing things we were so scared. Why were you so mean?

Why couldn't you be normal and just be a dad? Why did you have to screw up and always be mad?

I'll always remember you dad just the way you were, a dead beat loser, someone who made me hurt.

I look bak at all this shit...it was so dumb. But because of you dad, im forever numb.