Peas and Mustard

Get it right people! 
Tuna casserole takes cream of mushroom soup. 
Tuna SALAD takes mayo or Miracle Whip. 

And while we're at it, 
tuna salad has celery, 
NOT peas. 
If you HAVE to use peas, 
use a bag of frozen peas. 
Canned peas are for tuna casserole, 
not tuna salad. 

Get it? 
Got it? 
Good. 

As long as I'm on the subject 
canned peas are the worst peas 
AND the worst canned vegetable, 
not that there are any good canned vegetables. 

This morning 
someone brought fresh snap peas 
still in the pod for our snacks 
and it is all I can do 
not to take them all, 
they are SO wonderful 

I may have to write 
an ode to peas 
fresh from the garden 
why not? 
They've written songs 
about homegrown tomatoes 

Bottom line; 
casseroles are comfort food, 
THEY can be soggy 

Salads should be light and uplifting, 
they should be crisp. 

Meanwhile, 
I don't care 
what you native Midwesterners think, 
Jello and marshmallows 
are for desert, 
they do not constitute salad 

Now that we've got that clear- 
Thank you for using 
just the right amount 
of mustard 
in the potato salad 

Mustard is for both 
color and flavor 

But next time 
back off a little 
on the onions 

A good rule of thumb 
is to use sweet Vidalias 
you don't want the onions 
to overpower everything else 

Chives are fine 
just be careful 
how many 
and how strong 

the onions are really more about texture 
than flavor, in potato salad 
green onions 
are about 
color and texture 

you could always 
try red onions 
but that's a whole different color 
and then 
you REALLY 
need to be careful 
about how much 
and how strong 

But definitely don't skimp 
on the mustard 
sour cream may seem 
all fancy schmancy 
and sugar is sweet 
but nobody wants 
their potato salad 
too be too sweet 
or too schmancy 

I really can't overstate 
that you really can't 
over use 
mustard 
in the 
potato salad 

But for God's sake 
back off of the damn peas 
in the tuna salad