The agony is all I feel, I'm laid out on my bed
Curled up in a ball, Wishing that I was dead.
Feeling sorry for myself, I shiver through the pain
As a hundred thousand hammers pulverize my brain.
My spine is filled with glass, Cold sweat soaks my skin,
I wonder how the fuck I got into the situation I'm in?
Footsteps on the stairs, I pray to God she's here,
I shiver one more time a blink away a tear.
She walks into the room with a smile on her face
I need what she has brought, I need just a little taste.
I stager to the bathroom, Callapse against the sink,
I need the shit so bad that I can hardly think.
The spoon is on the counter, I dump the powder in,
I add a little water, Time is wearing thin.
Put flame under spoon, wait for it to bubble,
My hands are shaking bad, And I'm seeing double.
Pull cotton from the tip to filter out the sin,
My savior takes the plunge and pulls salvation in.
At last I grab the belt, With little time to spare,
I wrap the belt around my arm and know I'm almost there.
The blood is now cut off, It's bulging in the vein,
The needle slides inside, Ready to wash away the pain.
I pull a little blood, So I know I'm in the hole
Push the little button and plunge God into my soul.
My heart now does the rest, Two beats is all it takes,
As pleasure floods my limbs, I know my God makes no mistakes.
It's my God that brings me joy, And takes away the pain,
When everyone forsakes me, My God will still remain.