Sittin here with a mind that doesn't seem my own.
What to do, where to go, it's not good for me to be alone.
Not right now, I can't deal with this pain.
I need something that will make me smile again.
But what it is, I don't know and I don't know what to do.
I'm prayin, day in and day out, but it seems like nothing is coming thru.
Don't want to wait until the midnight hour to go to the Lord and pray,
I know he hears my thoughts even if there are no words to say.
Just to see my blood flow would make me feel at ease.
To get the knife and slit my wrist, do as I please.
But I know that's not what God has planned for me, there's a whole 'nother life waiting out there.
So when I feel like no one is listening, I know that he cares.
But it just gets so hard sometimes and it seems like I'm losing my way.
I feel like my days are numbered, and this might very well be my last day.
I pray that it's not, don't want the devil to win.
I see him in the corner sayin "Are you ready for your life to end?"
Then I hear a word from the Lord, saying "Child you're all mine."
And that's all the encouragement I need to kick the devil's behind.
I look at the devil and throw my head back and laugh.
I tell him, "devil, you can't take this joy that I have."
"I've got Angels watching over me and a GOD that hears my every call!"
"So this is a race that I will win, and HE will catch me if I fall!"
"SATAN, I AM A CHILD OF GOD AND HE SAID I AM HIS OWN!"
"PACK YOUR BAGS, GET YOUR STUFF, AND GET OUT OF MY HOME!"
"I REBUKE YOU DEVIL, GET BEHIND ME!"
"I'M GOING BACK TO GOD SO HE CAN SET MY SPIRIT FREE!"
And then a warmth came over me, like so many burdens had been lifted.
Then I got on my knees and thanked the Lord for the gifts he had given.
"Lord, I'm going through some things and you know each and every one of them."
"I know that you love me and you wouldn't want anything to happen."
"Thank you Lord for keeping me day by day."
"I know that you Lord, will always make a way."
So as I put my head down and the tears start to flow,
I thank God for keeping me and never letting me go.
I know that I will have trials, tests, and tribulations,
But with God on my side, I can rejoice in jubilation