Today...

2 Comments

Poem Commentary

I would LOVE to make it better please help... For I did spend only three minutes on it than said "END" Thank you...

JELaurin

Today...

Today...
 
        Is the 25th of September It's almost over, but I feal still all the more alive: Although my soul wishes to timber...
            Yes placing qucumbers on my eyes will help....

But lets make the best of what we have here in America even though there is such advanced poverty from created destiny all because we have faith almost more in the "Federal Reserve" than the Lord of Host; Who we should really serve!

              So let's not bost of our own doings, but of the things above that the LORD has done yes he gave us breath (from the trees) water (from the ground & sky) earth to walk upon (from his own two hands) LIGHT (from his own words of truth) etc, etc....

May we be thankfull & be good till death & than soon receave the crown of LIFE...

            With or with our strife.

END

JELaurin

Poem Comments

(2)

Please login or register

You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

Login or Register

Mareann commented on Today...

10-07-2009

This could be a super poem, but it lacks attention. If it were mine, I would do some editing. It is worth the effort. I hope to read an improved version soon. ( go for it) you can do it. Have a good day, mareann

Chaos128 commented on Today...

09-25-2009

A clear call for positive action and legitimate self examination. Poetry is so highly subjective, it's almost impossible to critique, but your message would carry greater force with a little more attention to spelling and typos. All in all, a fine effort.

JELaurin

09/26/2009

Thank you so much for your response much appreciated!

Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

JELaurin’s Poems (1)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Today... 2