It seems I lost me along the way to this despair…
The life I wanted disappeared to somewhere so far away off this land of self abuse…
The getting there was easy…
It’s hard to live with wasted accomplishments…
A wasted life…
The wasted love…
The family, friends and love...

Wasted along the way…

I see all the angry faces in my head…
Its all for me still and all about me…
I'm trying and I think and there's so much more to learn…
How easy it all went away to that far away in my head…
With my stem in my hand, in my mouth and in my head..
So easy for me to disappear…

Wasted along the way...

Trying to be what I can and what promised myself I can be…
I have taken it out on all who once loved me…
I start today off, tired as usual when the lightning of bad memories struck me…

Wasted along the way...

This is my only life, you only get one and one is all I need…
Soon the week will be over, I hope this Friday…
I will find myself again…

Wasted along the way...

Hoping this is the me, I’ve been looking for…
What more is left to say about the grey skies in my head...
Or the tired hurt eyes, that look back at me?
I'm living a life of internal War…

Wasted along the way...

My head down facing the crowd of lies in my head…
Does anybody know what the hell I am talking about…
Or is it just in my head…

Wasted along the way...

Another thing I am trying to figure out…
Without the using...
Without the love I once had…
Without my best friend and worst enemy…

My stem…
Wasted along the way...

A life wasted along the way…
As the weekend is getting closer…
I attempt to stand on these finally sober feet...
The cold wind of progression of my illness in remission...
Causes the thought of a self inflected downfall...

Wasted along the way...

Back to the madness in my head…
I've taken what was mine to own...
All the pain and suffering…
All voluntary…
Its mine to own…

Wasted along the way...

My thievery justified…
By sober self legislation and might...
The control of majority, in this non-using addicts head...
Never ceases to overpower the thoughts of trying it all again...

Wasted along the way...

I am wounded and unfortunate...
With no one left to blame but the eyes in that mirror…
Left for dead without a second thought…
Looking deep into a mirror...
The image frightens me…

Wasted along the way...

What I've become…
My own obstacle...
The burden placed on my soul...
On my shoulders…
Causes guilt to flow...

Wasted along the way...

Through a once dead soul…
Which took so much from this life of internal war...
Stolen love from so many...
One choice is left…
To take from myself...
What worked for almost a year...

Wasted along the way...

So hard to achieve...
Can be taken away by my hand of disdain and self hate...
As I realize...

The mirror doesn't lie...
The self I imagined...
Is not a fantasy...
I am complete…
And sober…
The mirror doesn’t lie…

Wasted along the way...

As this realization takes it's toll upon my soul...
A cold feeling overwhelms me…
Of what I allowed myself to become...

My own obstacle to love, life and freedom...

Wasted along the way...

With love, Kevin 2009