More Timex than Rolex

More diner than bistro

More Army than Navy

More Chevy than Volvo

I’m a J.C. Penney kind of guy.

More Old Spice than Armani

More bourbon than scotch

More front porch than veranda

More Levi than Swatch

I’m a J.C. Penney kind of guy.

More Tobasco than hollandaise

More Des Moines than Charleston

More meat loaf than crab salad

More Red Roof than Ritz Carlton

I’m a J.C. Penney kind of guy.

More Wrigley than Wimbledon

More breakfast than brunch

More draw poker than bridge

More cold Bud than planter’s punch

I’m a J.C. Penney kind of guy.

More Tony Llama than Bruno Magli

More catfish than scrod

More Norman Rockwell than Salvador Dali

More grass seed than sod

I’m happy being a J.C. Penney kind of guy.