Butterfly’s of a Primitive Gear
In the beginning it was just an adventure, to get away from Hearts hurt.
Just a mere six months, that turned out to be a year make that two.
Enough of America. Lights will always guide me home and America is not it.
So I am back home in South Africa, and what joy that was, although I had seen my country now from wiser eyes I just could not think that in 2 years the new government would and could destroy such beauty, my home county now a dump to fast diminishing foundations and civilization class of that of First World Countries.
Life goes on – spending time at home with my family and little friends left as many had gone their own ways such is the norm of life after High School and University.
My brother now more than half way to my shoulders, wow 2 years of growth plays a magical trick on the eyes when one does not see the magic happen.
I had shed so many tiers missing him.
My folks had of course followed nature of aging but not of that of the de-crippled old person you would see, their ageing spurt meant more of a laid back out look on life, and even with tough times for my household not once did this set my great family back, only brining them closer, closer than that of what I had left behind for America.
I would not forget my first family holiday way to the Blue Marlin Hotel, and that would proof evident the second time we as a family would go down to the Blue Marlin Hotel. Not only would this be a great family holiday and, a great bonding holds for my brother and myself and a re-learning volt of my family. This would be yet again were I would meet a Woman that would taint my soul and lead me to believe in love.
Explosive is how I would call this holiday fling gone strong then very wrong. But with my track record of love affairs this would be a natural turn of disaster after just a few short yet great weeks.
I got love sick got a plain and flew 3 hours to see the woman that I would soon share the idea of going to England. Ironic as it would be Carmen had the same thoughts in mind. One week with her alone and that feeling of something I had not ever known would sink deep in I was In Love and knew Love is real. Love hurts.
6 Months pass of a great time home and a great time bonding and re-building lost time with my family. Dillon the most, sorry I missed so much of your young life my Brother, I thank you for understanding. Fond times and great memories.
England, 16 months of hell, but a hell that I would not a walk away from until my Visa had. I don’t speak much about England besides Oxford and how its one of the best places to visit. England and America tested me in ways that I can not state but if you know me now and knew me back before I ever stepped foot on a plain you can tell the change in me. Like a tube of butter learning to fly (Butterfly’s).
Maybe the life I have lived so far is disappointing and to say the least I do some times agree, think that at my age I should be something and someone – but at my age not many can say they have done what I have and seen, tasted and dreamed what I have lived. Heck pushing close to my golden 3zero and I am still not stuck in a gear and my life is something that has not gone to waste or have had light’s burned out.
Lights had once again guided me home – not to with hold or with stand the ideas of Travels to some other First World Countries, Dubai been the top of my list, although even for the same reason as that of America and England.
Next I would be home for nearly a year, working a Dead End Job, making friends with some big names and moving very fast to a strong position of comfort in my personal life. I had it all, a caring family ‘’still have, always will’’ a fantastic house, great bonds with past friends that have and for most part always will back me cheers Mac and developments of some odd love affairs, friendships and lesson’s learnt.
But my life was starting to get to content, to much comatose of the same routine and really no future of that Woman every breaking up with, in which would be with out a doubt her First Husband. Her loss my gain.
And the racial facts that would burn my fuse fast and faster would not extend my stay Home.
The past months at home, was not a smooth opulence lucky as you can get life.
Many family matters came forth, and once again prays have to be paid due to my Great Family. Dr. Crohens would play a huge facet in a life style change from the one I knew again.
Dr. Crohens and myself have a history record of many notes, but with all the downs Crohens has given me, it’s been the best life skill that could have been given – I am glad Dr. Crohens made me its subject. Crazy.
Dubai, New Zealand both have had my eyes set on and my mind set on. But as the old adage goes: ‘’Life works in mysterious ways.’’ With a weird forecast of miss self judgment, miss conceptions and a One Long Week of self doubt and a low self esteem, only my new found friends could of kept me in the shape they did. Now I find myself in a place of a new adventure and no spider webs in my head but more a breath of a freshness touch from a new born child. I am seen as an outsider here, but feel more at home in Thailand that of America or England. I do admit some days I wake up and think to myself that South Africa is not so bad, and the truth is it’s not. South Africa only seems bad if you drink your coffee black and get it black with out the taste your use to from black coffee. I have lived in First World Countries and that experience no one can take away from me, but living in a Country worse off than that of my Home Land, has been a reel to me, like a fish in the waters swimming and then one day you get caught, Thailand has just done just that. It is amazing how you can find a happy from the dire. And at the same time see what you have really neglected and left behind. But this will help count up any demons. Not everything is lost.
Young days yet and like in the wild, you need to learn how to survive real fast. These few weeks have been a test, more of that of America or England. Thailand or I presume that of any other Third World Countries, you need to learn pretty quick how to kick into a
“Primitive Gear.”
The language issue is only an issue if you don’t do as Roman’s do when in Rome.
Same goes for the cultural lingo but every now and then you score a Bingo and that makes the world seem so bright. Like “God” sending a Symbolic Rainbow at the end of the “Forty Days and Forty Nights saga.”
Bend do not break.
Today is another day past – the same as yesterday and the day before and so on and so forth. Yet today brought nothing again into my life just more heart ache and more headache not understanding why and what I am meant to do right to make the Thai people happy. It seems as if most of the time I am a joke to the Thai’s and I just grudge it up and lock what I think inside overflowing my head with letters to a dead end. I am not crazy I take the right pills every day and night, but I wish I was to keep myself insane from the silent tauter I face from the nothingness from the new way of life I am finding hard to adjust to. I am bending pretty far back and I am bound to break sooner or later. On the bright side of life this is all part of new experience and an experience that I can grow from as a person.
Just a mere six months, that turned out to be a year make that two.
Enough of America. Lights will always guide me home and America is not it.
So I am back home in South Africa, and what joy that was, although I had seen my country now from wiser eyes I just could not think that in 2 years the new government would and could destroy such beauty, my home county now a dump to fast diminishing foundations and civilization class of that of First World Countries.
Life goes on – spending time at home with my family and little friends left as many had gone their own ways such is the norm of life after High School and University.
My brother now more than half way to my shoulders, wow 2 years of growth plays a magical trick on the eyes when one does not see the magic happen.
I had shed so many tiers missing him.
My folks had of course followed nature of aging but not of that of the de-crippled old person you would see, their ageing spurt meant more of a laid back out look on life, and even with tough times for my household not once did this set my great family back, only brining them closer, closer than that of what I had left behind for America.
I would not forget my first family holiday way to the Blue Marlin Hotel, and that would proof evident the second time we as a family would go down to the Blue Marlin Hotel. Not only would this be a great family holiday and, a great bonding holds for my brother and myself and a re-learning volt of my family. This would be yet again were I would meet a Woman that would taint my soul and lead me to believe in love.
Explosive is how I would call this holiday fling gone strong then very wrong. But with my track record of love affairs this would be a natural turn of disaster after just a few short yet great weeks.
I got love sick got a plain and flew 3 hours to see the woman that I would soon share the idea of going to England. Ironic as it would be Carmen had the same thoughts in mind. One week with her alone and that feeling of something I had not ever known would sink deep in I was In Love and knew Love is real. Love hurts.
6 Months pass of a great time home and a great time bonding and re-building lost time with my family. Dillon the most, sorry I missed so much of your young life my Brother, I thank you for understanding. Fond times and great memories.
England, 16 months of hell, but a hell that I would not a walk away from until my Visa had. I don’t speak much about England besides Oxford and how its one of the best places to visit. England and America tested me in ways that I can not state but if you know me now and knew me back before I ever stepped foot on a plain you can tell the change in me. Like a tube of butter learning to fly (Butterfly’s).
Maybe the life I have lived so far is disappointing and to say the least I do some times agree, think that at my age I should be something and someone – but at my age not many can say they have done what I have and seen, tasted and dreamed what I have lived. Heck pushing close to my golden 3zero and I am still not stuck in a gear and my life is something that has not gone to waste or have had light’s burned out.
Lights had once again guided me home – not to with hold or with stand the ideas of Travels to some other First World Countries, Dubai been the top of my list, although even for the same reason as that of America and England.
Next I would be home for nearly a year, working a Dead End Job, making friends with some big names and moving very fast to a strong position of comfort in my personal life. I had it all, a caring family ‘’still have, always will’’ a fantastic house, great bonds with past friends that have and for most part always will back me cheers Mac and developments of some odd love affairs, friendships and lesson’s learnt.
But my life was starting to get to content, to much comatose of the same routine and really no future of that Woman every breaking up with, in which would be with out a doubt her First Husband. Her loss my gain.
And the racial facts that would burn my fuse fast and faster would not extend my stay Home.
The past months at home, was not a smooth opulence lucky as you can get life.
Many family matters came forth, and once again prays have to be paid due to my Great Family. Dr. Crohens would play a huge facet in a life style change from the one I knew again.
Dr. Crohens and myself have a history record of many notes, but with all the downs Crohens has given me, it’s been the best life skill that could have been given – I am glad Dr. Crohens made me its subject. Crazy.
Dubai, New Zealand both have had my eyes set on and my mind set on. But as the old adage goes: ‘’Life works in mysterious ways.’’ With a weird forecast of miss self judgment, miss conceptions and a One Long Week of self doubt and a low self esteem, only my new found friends could of kept me in the shape they did. Now I find myself in a place of a new adventure and no spider webs in my head but more a breath of a freshness touch from a new born child. I am seen as an outsider here, but feel more at home in Thailand that of America or England. I do admit some days I wake up and think to myself that South Africa is not so bad, and the truth is it’s not. South Africa only seems bad if you drink your coffee black and get it black with out the taste your use to from black coffee. I have lived in First World Countries and that experience no one can take away from me, but living in a Country worse off than that of my Home Land, has been a reel to me, like a fish in the waters swimming and then one day you get caught, Thailand has just done just that. It is amazing how you can find a happy from the dire. And at the same time see what you have really neglected and left behind. But this will help count up any demons. Not everything is lost.
Young days yet and like in the wild, you need to learn how to survive real fast. These few weeks have been a test, more of that of America or England. Thailand or I presume that of any other Third World Countries, you need to learn pretty quick how to kick into a
“Primitive Gear.”
The language issue is only an issue if you don’t do as Roman’s do when in Rome.
Same goes for the cultural lingo but every now and then you score a Bingo and that makes the world seem so bright. Like “God” sending a Symbolic Rainbow at the end of the “Forty Days and Forty Nights saga.”
Bend do not break.
Today is another day past – the same as yesterday and the day before and so on and so forth. Yet today brought nothing again into my life just more heart ache and more headache not understanding why and what I am meant to do right to make the Thai people happy. It seems as if most of the time I am a joke to the Thai’s and I just grudge it up and lock what I think inside overflowing my head with letters to a dead end. I am not crazy I take the right pills every day and night, but I wish I was to keep myself insane from the silent tauter I face from the nothingness from the new way of life I am finding hard to adjust to. I am bending pretty far back and I am bound to break sooner or later. On the bright side of life this is all part of new experience and an experience that I can grow from as a person.
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